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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Advent day 11

These angels have been in my family since 1966. They were one of my favorite Christmas decorations when I was growing up and I still love them today.

I missed posting yesterday because I had another health set back. Since mid-October I've not been well. There was some concern that I had swine flu, although was never tested for it. Then I've had this terrible sore throat and the worst fatigue I've ever experienced in my life. I've been to the Dr. numerous times and they've taken numerous tests all to show that I'm "fine". My friends say I look fabulous but I don't feel fabulous. It's been a real haul. Finally over the last 10 days or so I started to feel my old self again. I had energy to do somethings that I really love doing like decorating our house and entertaining. After work, I wanted to wander through town or do something with Doug instead of just crawling into bed. It was great to feel interested in life again. I even started going to a Pilates class to try and get my body moving again. I have not played tennis since the end of October and I really miss it. But putting stress on my respiratory system has not been advised until I feel really good for an extended period of time. I was confident that that time had come until yesterday. I woke up feeling a little punk but I'm not sleeping all that great (a normal problem for me), worked for a bit, went to a nice luncheon, but afterward felt really crummy. I came home from work and felt like I was back where I've been. Exhausted, dis-interested in doing anything, feeling really down and out again. This morning I feel a bit better so we'll see what this day brings. I am going in for a full physical, one that has been scheduled for a long time, so perhaps I'll learn something new.
I have never had a long season of not feeling good like this. I have developed a lot of empathy for people who live with chronic pain or long-term illness. My lack of interest in the things that I enjoy has been really tough and my heart aches for those for whom Christmas is a chore, just one more thing to try to get through.
I have needed to be encouraged during this time. And in order to be encouraged, I've needed to be honest about where I am, sometimes not always easy. But if you are feeling down and out for whatever reason, find a listening ear...someone may even be standing at the ready to be your guardian angel, but you must find the courage to trust them with where you are at. But if you can find those "angels" in your life who you can really trust and to whom you can pour out your heart, your burden will be lifted and you will feel less alone and you will surely be encouraged. And on the other hand, keep alert for the ways in which you may be in a position to be someone else's "angel".
I am thankful for the "angels" in my life who have encouraged me during this difficult season of not enjoying full health. I still feel very grateful for my life and have much for which I am joy-filled.