Welcome to Sweden: Episode 8 and the Season Finale

So, when we sat down to watch this week's episodes I was utterly confused. NBC skipped an entire episode which moves the plot along so if you were confused about why Emma's dad was in the hospital and who the pony-tailed guy named Marcus was, be of good cheer. You never saw how this plot developed. If you live in the US, you can watch the full episode online. Not sure why NBC would do this but apparently they thought it would be fun to throw an online episode into the mix. It is available until Sept. 27 and you can see it here. ://community.ew.com/2014/08/28/welcome-to-sweden-recap-breakups/ A very brief written summary of the show is available there as well that will get you a bit caught up.
The last two episodes to air in the US had a lot of Swedish in them and not as much humor as they were used to really move the plot along. Even so, there were some things worth noting.
Episode 8 opens up with Bruce back in New York at a restaurant overwhelmed by how great it is to be back in the US! Of course, the waiter mistakes Bruce as a gay European which Bruce takes great offense to, defending himself by stating that he bought his clothes at H&M, the cheap but fashionable iconic Swedish clothing store that has grabbed the world's attention! And of course, the waiter recommends the meatballs! And of course, Bruce makes all kind of statements about food and eating to ensure that he comes across as American. I want four servings of apple pie and super weak coffee and I will eat more than I should because I'm an American! When the waiter tells Bruce that his English is excellent for a foreigner I had to chuckle. I can't tell you how many people in the US tell me that my English is excellent after I tell them that I live in Sweden. My mom even had someone tell her that I speak excellent English and my mom was like, uh, yeah, she was raised here! Funny assumptions people make.
Amy Pohler's commentary on Sweden was pretty funny when they are sitting in the bar. Talking about Swedish films moving at a snail's pace, Bruce trying to look people in the eye before they drink, and him asking the bartender to put on the soccer match! Such silly ways to portray the differences in culture, indeed.
The bar that Emma and Viveka are in is called O'Leary's and is a Boston themed type pub. They are all over Stockholm and offer cheap bar food and lots of sports, even American football! The one they were in is on Södermalm and was the only place we could watch NFL when we first moved here. Because of the time change, the games didn't start until 10.30pm so we'd venture over there to watch Viking games late at night. Good memories of our early years here. I love the snarky comment from Emma to her mother about being dressed like Lisbeth Salander! Anyone who has read the Millenium novels will understand that this is a good joke. Actually, that pub is very close to where Lisbeth Salander lived!
Meanwhile, Bruce and Aubrey are back in NY getting into all kinds of trouble and Marcus and Emma end up in a fancy, beautiful cellar restaurant likely in Gamla Stan. These are lovely and worth the splurge if you are ever in town. Our favorite is called Fem Små Hus meaning Five Small Houses. I thought the detail of Emma opening the menu and seeing the ring thinking it was from Marcus was pretty good. Turns out, it was just the waitress who had lost her ring earlier her shift! Perhaps that was a fateful turning moment for Emma and Bruce however as it caused Emma to kick Marcus out of her life for good.
While not as funny as the other episodes, this episode does explore the great question of Can Love Conquer All? Both Emma and Bruce and Birger and Viveka are exploring this reality from differing points of view.
On a side note, I have to laugh a little that the US market is airing commercials for Gevalia coffee. While seen as the top gourmet Swedish coffee brand in the US due to clever marketing, it's actually more like the Folgers of coffee here in Sweden! I don't know of many who buy it here. My coffee of choice is the fantastic Zoegas. 
Too bad you can't buy that in the US!
Finally, the season finale is upon us. Emma is trying to get her parents back together while Gustav is dreaming of how great a divorce would be: Two of everything. Two birthdays, two Christmases, etc. Sad but maybe real commentary on a kid's view of their parents splitting. Emma, disgusted, asks Gustav if he's 12 and has he considered that his mother will kick him out and he'll have to grow up, get a job and pay rent. Faced with this terrible reality, he works at getting his parents back together as well. The references to Sweden from the Americans include a mention of Volvo, Ikea and herring. Admittedly, these three things do figure broadly into Swedish life! The first two I like. The third, I would never, ever miss. Bruce and Emma both realize that being together is what they want so in true romantic comedy fashion, they make plans to go to one another at the same time. Bruce engages all manner of people at the airport who will listen to his lovelorn story. One goofy detail was when Bruce was supposed to be at the airport in New York, the signs behind him were clearly the signs at the Stockholm airport! Guess they didn't want to spend the money to film in New York but perhaps they could've been a bit more careful about the background details!
Not so very much to say about the finale. Birger and Viveka get back to together. The summer house goes up for sale (which probably would never, ever happen in real life. People hang onto their summer houses and pass them from generation to generation!) and Bruce and Emma have a serendipitous meeting at the Stockholm airport on the escalators thus setting up the next season.
Perhaps a bit anti-climatic, at least the story line is developing a bit as we close the season. I would imagine that the second season must include winter as that is such a big part of Swedish life and one of the more difficult aspects for foreigners to adjust to. It's not the cold, it's the dark!
So, the first season is a wrap. It's been fun to journey through my second home with all you. If the US decides to do a sitcom based in Palm Springs, CA, I'd be delighted to star in it or at the very least, write my reflections. Not sure when the second season is coming out but until then, I'll keep blogging about my real life in Sweden! For now, raise a glass with a friend, look them and everyone else around the table in the eye and shout skål.

The King and Queen of Sweden at a party we hosted!

Perhaps that's as close to Sweden as you'll get for now!

Welcome to Sweden: Episodes 6 & 7

This week was a double doozy with back to back episodes. I must say, these were the most outrageous in terms of jabbing at both the American and Swedish culture. I thought they did a clever job of taking up some important social differences while maintaining a decent sense of humor.
First Episode 6:
I'll start with Bruce's parents, all together too typified as the ugly American who lacks any cultural sensitivity at all. Of course, there are stereotypes: I want to see Vikings! All Swedes are not blonde! No one works! Everyone lives off the government! Complaining that there are so many foreigners in this town while they themselves are the actual foreigners. It points to a pre-conceived notion that some people have when traveling. They express an interest in the Swedish culture (or whatever culture they are visiting) based on their prior assumptions, which are often caricatures based on media influence and then being disappointed when their "fantasy" of life in Sweden wasn't based on any actual reality! The perception that Sweden is an ice covered land in all seasons was pretty hilarious to me.
In 16 years I can confess that I've never seen a Viking walking down the street. And no one wears the hats with braids and horns, except for fun.

Yes, we've been know to dress the part of the stereo-typical Viking/Swede. This is a long time ago however before we were married. Perhaps a foreshadowing of the life that awaited us!

You are much more likely to see this at a Minnesota Vikings football game than anywhere in Stockholm.
On the Swedish side: I have to say that I really love Lena Olin in this role. She is so darn funny playing Emma's Swedish mama! If you know Swedish it's even funnier. A few of the nuances in cultural differences include the perceived insincerity of Americans by Swedes in the way we say things like How are you? Or You should come visit! without really meaning it. The fact that the brother took them up on their offer to visit highlighted this lack of sincerity. Of course, Americans just call it small talk and being nice. Swedes find it superficial and disingenuous. Of course, we often find Swedes rude for not offering up these simple, well-intended if not entirely sincere phrases! Thus the culture clash that sometimes ensues.
It was quite impressive to see how Episode 6 took up differences in the way Americans and Swedes perceive marriage and children, religion, and gay vs. just European all in one fell swoop! Marriage is differently valued here and this Sambo is akin common law marriage but is an actual binding category for couples and very socially acceptable. Having children before marriage isn't so unusual and we know couples who have been sambo for 40 years but have never married...both inside and outside of the church. It's a very different perception that I've never fully understood, especially among church folks. The conversation around religion was fascinating as Swedes readily admit to their atheism. The vast majority of the population would not lay claim to any religious belief and you can sometimes feel actual contempt from those who do believe in God. In some ways they wear their lack of religious belief like a badge of honor. It's one interesting result of the church and state being fused for so many years. This arrangement does not lead to a deeper piety. Quite the opposite. There were several Swedish plays on words that I'm sure were missed by non-Swedish speakers. Even with the translation the subtlety of the humor was likely lost in translation. One of my favorites was when Birger (best pronounced beer not burger!) is telling Wayne that he worked for the kommun meaning municipality. Wayne mistakenly interprets as communist and Birger, not really understanding English all that well heartily agrees! Also when he says Var Så Goda before the meal and then translates it be so goda...made laugh. We'd really translate it by saying you are most welcome but the literal translation does cause a chuckle because it sounds so ridiculous! I must admit to having said "be so goda" several times in the past week to Doug and the dog!
Wayne's initial observation that there are so many male, gay nannies in Stockholm opened up an entire can of worms. Bruce responds, "No dad, they are just fathers taking their 6 months of paternity leave who dress in a classically Swedish/European way." Hence, the comment that no one works and everyone lives off the government! You do actually have to work in order to receive the family leave benefit, but having said that, Sweden does have the most generous paid parental leave in the world.
The whole conversation around determining if someone is gay or European is actually pretty funny. I have gay friends who say that their "gaydar" doesn't really work here because in many ways lots of Swedish men are rather androgynous. The fact that Wayne tries to make the distinction and then ends up in a gay bar enjoying the company, no worse the wiser, was pretty funny. It's true...most Swedish men like to wear tight clothing that almost looks one size too small, tie sweaters around their necks, and flaunt scarves in all types of weather. I suppose the term metrosexual might describe the male scene here in Stockholm but it is admittedly hard to judge a book by its cover here. We have one friend who is skinny and good looking and he has been mistaken for a gay man on more than one occasion. Always gives us a chuckle when he has yet another story to share!
The last thing from Episode 6 that was a little off were the views of the city. Beautiful as they were, they were not in the area where the cruise ships park. A small detail that only one who lives here would notice. Even so, I still liked the gorgeous shots of Stockholm that they showed!
Episode 7 explored the delicate balance between being yourself and trying to fit into your new culture. I resonated with this sense that Swedes say to be yourself but what they really mean is to be yourself as long as it reflects the Swedish culture! But we Americans do this too. I had to laugh at the ways Bruce was trying to fit in...getting walking sticks, eating caviar on crisp bread for breakfast while rejecting donuts as fat and sugary disgusting food. One cool thing is that when Bruce and Emma are walking through the park, (with Bruce using his walking sticks) the park shown is close to our house and we walk through it often! I really had to laugh as they made fun of the Swedish way of being as being equivalent to being depressed! Poor Bruce. Everyone thought he was depressed and he was just trying to act more Swedish! I will say this: Swedes value sameness. My experience has been that they like things to be quite even...not too up, not too down...lagom as they say, which is the hardest word in the world to translate. It can mean, everyone the same, all the same measure, middle of the road, or mediocre. Hard to grasp if lagom is a good thing or a bad thing. Probably somewhere in between, which would be perfect for Sweden!
When Aubrey lands in Stockholm to stalk Bruce and ultimately talk him into coming back to New York, they tour the city a bit, ending up at the new ABBA museum. We've walked by but haven't been in yet.

We have lip synced Abba songs however. Check out my platform shoes.
And Doug...Oj, oj, oj...looking the most like Benny Anderson in the 70's!

Not sure the entire American audience would know that the man Bruce runs into at the museum and later encounters as his first celebrity client is Björn Ulvaeus of ABBA fame.
The fact that he is dressed as he did when the band was at its height in the 70's was very funny.
Emma's negotiation with her own boss for a salary raise was another indication of how different the US is from Sweden when it comes to employment issues. She was trying to play hard ball per Bruce's advice and in the end, that just doesn't fly here because in my experience there seem to be strict frameworks around which salaries are designated. Raises are not often given for merit and are usually dictated by the union, of which most everyone is a part. This notion of everyone being equal, of no one being more important than another definitely plays itself out in the work place.
I had to chuckle a bit at the end when Emma finds out that Bruce can make a lot of money in New York and reacts in such a way that the door opens for Bruce to think about moving back. As much as he has spent the first 7 episodes trying to be really excited about being in Stockholm, we have begun to see that the cultural realities are tough and the fatigue that comes from seeking to acculturate has begun to take its toll. He positively jumps for joy at the mere mention of the possibility of moving back to the US! While there are many wonderful things about experiencing a new culture, in some ways, we never lose that default position of our home country being where we really do feel most at home. We'll see how it goes as they begin to make their plans to head back to New York and perhaps encounter some surprises along the way that they had not counted on!

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 5

This week's episode cut a little deeper than the past episodes as it explored the perilous road of trying to fit into a new culture and social environment. While it was filled with funny things, the underlying reality for those of us who have sought to acculturate to a new place is that it is hard and at times very lonely and painful. One of the most difficult ways to fit in is through humor!

That's me, being funny. Get it?!

Humor is a very nuanced form of cultural expression and is often missed by those of another ilk. Plays on words, expressions and colloquialisms are the last things a second language speaker begins to understand and yet, they are so often what make up the fabric of an interesting social conversation. Given that both Doug and I like humor and often use it, this has been a very tough road for us. At one point, I actually asked a Swedish staff person who I knew well and enjoyed to laugh at my comments during our all church staff meetings just in case no one else thought they were funny! It got to be a pretty good joke between us. Sadly, he no longer works at Immanuel! But here's a good example of something we thought would be hilarious but fell totally flat.
At Christmas, we always receive a lovely gift from the board. One year, the staff received plush, luxurious bathrobes. It was a nice gift but also a little personal given that it was an employee gift! None the less, we've enjoyed them through the years! But since we all got the same thing, Doug and I thought it would be hilarious to wear them to the first staff meeting of the new year! We even convinced a Swedish colleague to join us but she even warned us that this would not be funny. We prevailed because we are just THAT funny! We walked into a room of about 40 people to incredulous stares and silence. Finally, one Swede broke the silence by asking, "Are you cold?" with a completely straight face. Oj. We realized then that our very sophisticated and subtle humor was completely lost on them. Oh heck, even our obvious baseline humor is lost on them! Which is really sad when you like being funny!
But I digress. Here are some thoughts from this episode! I laughed when Bruce gets the spa bill and it's for like $700.00! And then he tries to talk the clerk out of charging him for certain things! Sweden is expensive and you can be caught off guard by a bill if you don't know going in what things are going to cost. I did have to laugh when he kicked the masseuse when he touched his feet! Doug is so ticklish that he could never go in for a foot massage! One subtle thing that Americans surely missed was when the mom ends up paying and says in Swedish keep the rest for dricks. It translates as tip but Bruce thought she said drinks and said we didn't even have drinks!
I did feel actual pain as Bruce was mulling around that dinner party, trying to listen to the Swedish, desperately wanting to fit in. And then when he reads from google translate in order to get them to invited to the next party. Oh, that Swedish accent is tough! Then he keeps his shoes on and high fives everyone! One cultural misstep after another! The shoe thing is perhaps one of the highest cultural expectations going. I have learned to carry an extra little bag with my "indoor shoes" because I really hate being at a party in my socks or bare feet. But if I don't feel like bringing my shoes, then I double check that my socks are clean without holes in them! I will admit, this practice does keep your house cleaner but in our home, unless the weather is dodgy, you can keep your shoes on.
The whole scene of Swedish burn-out is pretty weird for us. Swedes overuse the term burn-out  and get burn out rather quickly, in my humble opinion. One thing that I find amusing is that when speaking of their passions, they say, "What do you burn for"? Guess you should't burn too brightly or you will get burn-out.
So, at the end of the day, Bruce's default relationship is Hassan, who he has little in common with but shares this core experience of being a foreigner. Too bad he dumps Bruce too! But the truth of the matter for us is that our closest friends are other foreigners. The close Swedish friends we have are married to a foreigner. It's just hard to break into people's social circles and while Swedes do speak English, often they aren't that comfortable doing so so would also rather be in a social setting where they can speak Swedish and not worry about it. And for us, we don't want to put Swedes in an awkward position of having to speak English so you just keep a little distance socially. And at the end of the day, you do have to try to find this fine line between fitting in and being yourself...which are sometimes opposing goals because your personality is very different than the culture that surrounds you. Swedes would not walk into a party and high five everyone! They will however, in a very rigid manner walk around to every person present, look them in the eye, shake their hand, and say their name. Then move on and perhaps never speak to you again for the rest of the evening! But at least they do formally introduce themselves upon arrival. Of course, this happens after they have taken their shoes off!
I understand that a special report interrupted the end of the show in some parts of the US. Bruce's parents call, at a ridiculous time of day in Sweden because Americans do often forget about the time change. We've had 2.00 a.m. calls from someone who just wanted to say hello. When we sound a little groggy, they yell into the phone, "Oh, what time it is there?!" For the record, we're 9 hours ahead of the west coast, 6 hours ahead of the east coast. Everyone else in between, do the math!
But the big news from Bruce's parents is that they are coming to visit! They've booked a cruise and will be in Sweden next week! Stay tuned for more shenanigans when Bruce's parents land in Stockholm.
On another note...I did think the long shots of our fair city this week were just spectacular. Stockholm remains one of the most beautiful cities on earth.

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 4

This episode opens in a café where Bruce is putting his "American" on by chatting up the clerk. You would think he would know by now that Sweden is not the Cheer's Bar: Everybody does not know your name nor do they care! But to be fair to the lovely pub across the street from our house: The Man in the Moon, the wait staff does know us and it is pleasant to chat a bit when we stop by, which we don't much anymore because a pint of beer there is $10.00. And even though they know us, we do not run up a tab. But clearly, the most egregious part of this whole scene is the fact that he is buying a semla in the summer. WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. Semla is a cardamom bun cut in half, with almond paste on the bun and then filled with cream.  Semla is a treat for Lent, only. An indulgence that traditionally was eaten on Mardi Gras as a way to prepare for the disciplines of Lent, admittedly, bakeries are now putting them on the shelves shortly after the new year, but once Easter arrives, you won't see them again until the following winter.  Also, it is impossible to eat one with your hands.
OK, now that I have that off my chest we can move on to the rest of the content. This episode mainly focused on Bruce trying to find a job. He visits Arbetsförmedlingen: The Swedish Public Employment agency. Sweden does work hard at helping people find work but it's not like you just walk in and they hand out jobs! We have some folks at church who work there and it's hard and taxing work because of the expectation that people have that you can simply pull a job out of your magic hat and make people happy! And it is also true that many of the jobs on offer are the low-level cleaning or taxi jobs that so many immigrants end up with. And while many people in Sweden do speak English, most work places function in Swedish. The fact that Bruce does not speak the language nor wants to work in his area of expertise makes finding the perfect job a little tough! It's also totally silly. Again, would never happen in real life. Jobs are really hard to come by for foreigners and as Bruce noted, "It's really expensive not to work." He would likely be interested in anything that could put some kroner into his pocket.
Probably the most frustrating hinder for me here in Sweden are the strict and parochial laws regarding obtaining a driver's license. Sweden is not the most open place for reciprocal agreements. They want you to be trained in their system under their rules for just about everything so usually, even in one's profession, you have to get some kind of training here in order to practice your craft. With the driver's license, even though you may have been driving for say 35+ years, you still have to return to Driver's Education, both written and practical. And it's true. It's incredibly expensive. What really grates on my nerves regarding this practice is that people from Great Britain are exempt from this because if you have a license within the European Union you don't have to get a Swedish license. Great Britain has far less in common with the Swedish driving situation than the US does...They drive on the left for goodness sakes. But they are exempt. Grrrr. This topic gets my ire up.
And ya know what else gets my ire up? People who come to Europe expecting to drive a rental car but do not know how to drive a stick shift. Listen people: Learn to drive a stick before you come to Europe. The vast majority of cars here are stick shift. Don't get angry about this. Learn that this is the custom. And while I am at it, if you plan to go on the Amazing Race, learn to drive a stick. You will have to do so. DUH.
True to form, when Bruce encounters the Farthinder sign, he giggles. All Americans, no matter their age, turn into 12 year boys when they see the "fart" signs around town. Fart hinder is speed bump and one of my favorite words.

Infart is entrance with a vehicle. Utfart is exit with a vehicle. Full Fart is high speed. You get the picture. Farting is all over this society.
I must admit that the no turn on red rule still gets me sometimes. When I'm back in the US, it takes me awhile to remember that I can do so. After enough cars have honked at me, my memory is usually jolted back into place. And then when we return to Sweden, I have to be very disciplined to remember to stay put until the light turns green. Luckily I don't drive very much here.
My last impression this week was when Emma and Bruce were in the bar having a drink and they encounter Gene Simmons. Most remarkable to me about that scene was that Bruce orders a Gin and Tonic. Probably cost him $20.00. Drinking out costs a lot of money. Getting a driver's license costs a lot of money. Being unemployed costs a lot of money. If Bruce wants to keep up this lifestyle, he better find a job and soon! Full Fart Framåt Bruce! (Full Speed Ahead Bruce!)

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 3

This week's episode was slightly tamer but still there were some funny nuances to ponder and of course, the dynamics between a cross-cultural couple came more clearly into focus. Being both Americans, Doug and I did not share the struggles and joys of trying to fit into each other's world's as a cross-cultural couple nor have to face the headaches of obtaining the proper paperwork in order to stay together in a foreign land.
That said, the entire commentary on neighbors and not talking with them was pretty funny. While it is definitely a stretch to believe that people here look out the peep holes on their door to ensure that no one else will be in the hallway, I can confirm that chatting up your neighbors or even worse yet, strangers on the street or on the subway is a big time no no here in Stockholm! If you chat too much with strangers on the street they will think you are A) Drunk. B) Mentally Ill. C) American. Americans in particular have a very hard time with this cultural nuance as witnessed by Bruce's repeated attempts to break the barrier. Our own interpretation of this stand-offish-ness is that Swedes are rude. Over time we've come to realize however that Swedes often find the American over the top friendliness disingenuous and fake. Somewhere between rude and disingenuous perhaps lies the truth. I've come to understand that Swedes respect people's personal space too much to interrupt it with chatter. Funny enough, sometimes they aren't so generous with personal physical space and will crowd you in a line or crash into you with a baby stroller and never once utter a meager excuse me, because to say excuse me would mean to break the code of silence when it comes to talking to strangers. Silence is not uncomfortable for them and relationships are cultivated when, well, an ensuring friendship is actually a possibility. And yet, this is likely one of the cultural realities that I continue to struggle with after 16 years. I still find that the Swedes lack of casual social interaction feels very cold to me and it's hard for me to not read more into it than I should. Then again, when I'm in a very bad mood and don't feel like talking to anyone, this social behavior comes in very handy! It's totally acceptable to put your head down, keep that scowl on your face and trudge through your daily business!
We've lived in our building for 16 years. In that time, we've said hello to most of the others who live here but we've only been invited into 2 other apartments for a social gathering and those were from others who worked at Immanuel Church. To be fair, we've not done any inviting of others into our abode either. Why? I don't know.
We do chat casually. The dog has definitely broken down barriers and opened up new avenues of communication, but there is no inviting each other in and I'm not sure we could actually tell you the names of everyone here nor could they tell you our names!
I did really laugh at the end of the episode when the older gentleman is genuinely stuck in an elevator and Bruce, finally not wanting to buck the social trend, simply runs on by with a hej hej! There is a downside to all this social distance and being ignored while needing to be rescued out of a broken elevator would certainly fit that description!
The funny thing however about this is that once you have broken into a Swede's social circle, their hospitality is over the top. That's why if you come to Sweden and visit relatives or friends, you will likely not catch this nuance, unless of course, you find yourself in downtown Stockholm trying to share you trip details with every Swede you see. Then you will definitely confirm in their minds that you are indeed drunk, mentally ill and American.

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 2

OK, so now we're two weeks into our Swedish/American cultural exchange via TV and here are my thoughts on Episode 2. It is
 H-A-R-D to learn a new language at any time but especially difficult the older you are. When we first moved here, Doug and I would try to speak Swedish with one another when we walked our dog. But Doug would just start making up words and I would throw Spanish in once in awhile so it wasn't a very fruitful learning experience! It did make for some good laughs however! Errors are inevitable and when you try to translate expressions, it gets rather hopeless rather fast! There are small nuances to words that are very hard for a foreigner to hear so it's easy to make a lot of mistakes, even some embarrassing ones along the way! As my friend Liz mentioned in her comments last week, one of the frustrating aspects of seeking to learn Swedish is that because the Swedes are so well-versed in English, they will often hear your broken Swedish and immediately switch to English, thus giving you no opportunity to practice. One experience stands out for me. I had to go to a music store to buy drum sticks and well, that wasn't exactly included in the vocabulary lessons so I walked in and asked, "Prata du engelska?" the phrase I have perfected in Swedish! He said, "Of course" as many Swedes reply in this way. So we transacted our business and then he asked how long I had lived in Stockholm. I said, "6 years." And of course, he proceeded to scold me for not speaking Swedish after all those years. So I switched to Swedish and said, "I do speak Swedish. But if I try to speak Swedish with Swedes, you switch to English so I just thought I'd skip that step!" grrrr. But then, after about 7 years something amazing happened...the Swedes quit switching to English! All of the sudden something in my pronunciation and vocabulary and sentence structure created enough confidence in my language skills that the native speakers of Swedish were willing to speak Swedish with an American! It is frustrating however to feel like you want to learn the language but those around you don't really want to help you. They'd rather practice their English. Fine. But don't criticize English speakers when they don't speak such great Swedish!
On being embarrassed to admit you are American...I have felt this at times, especially when the political situation was very hot regarding the war in Iraq. It's a funny thing to be from America...so many stereotypes and pre-conceived notions emerge. Some good, some not so good. Words to live by: Do not judge a person by their country.
I will say this about the show: The brother character is totally atypical and I don't like his role in the show. He comes across so stupid and clueless and I find it terribly distracting and unfair. Not sure why the writers felt they needed to write the brother in such a dumb manner.
Of course, Bruce and Emma's desire to get some alone time dominated this episode in an overbearing manner. Wondering how the American audience received this.
The scenes at the summer house bring a big smile to my face, especially the exchange between Bruce and Emma's father! The notion that a summer house is to work and build is really very funny. While Swedes do love to relax, it is also true that most spend the entire summer working on the summer house. And yes, most summer places that are out in the archipelago have only an outhouse...strict plumbing rules prevent flush systems although now there is a new and dazzling toilet called the Cinderella that turns human waste into ash. It is truly awesome. Our friends with the gorgeous summer place have one and it has transformed toilet life in the archipelago! You put a large coffee filter type thing in the toilet, do your business, then flush. Instant incineration. Truly genius. Although I will add that the outhouses I've used here are the cleanest and nicest I've ever had to use.
Will Farrell's cameo was of course hilarious. Just the condescending way he chides Bruce was very funny. The fact that he's actually married to a Swede adds to the humor. I thought the woman playing his wife in the show was his real wife, but apparently that is not the case. Have never seen what she actually looks like but someone said she is a brunette.
On the Dala Horse: There are more American homes with Dala horse decorations than any Swedish homes. In fact, I'm not sure I have seen any Dala horses on display in a Swedish home. That said, they are a national treasure. Yes, I have a few in our home here.
Finally, the small detail of Bruce not liking cinnamon is only appreciated if you understand the importance of Fika: the hallowed tradition of coffee and a little something, usually a cinnamon bun! Not liking cinnamon is almost heretical. A hard cultural nuance to catch if you have not experienced this.
All in all, some clever bits in this episode but still...I wonder if sustains attention with the humor being even more and more subtle.
Those are my thoughts: How about yours?

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 1

Hello readers and watchers of the new TV show Welcome to Sweden. I received some great comments regarding the show and will continue to watch with interest as the series unfolds in the US. Probably the most obvious comments are rooted in this sense of needing a little backstory on living in Sweden to fully appreciate the humor. That is why I wonder if an American audience will find it sustainably interesting. I even wonder about a second season here in Sweden. Cultural stereo-typing only goes so far and in the case of this TV show, it's already way over the top. I guess we feel more freedom to laugh when the stereotyping is quite outrageous because in some ways, perhaps the more subtle cultural differences make us uncomfortable rather than providing a mechanism for a chuckle. Please do take the time to read the comments after yesterday's post.
Not surprising to me, the comments with the most resonance came from those who have lived here, especially other Americans we have known. They could see through the stereotyping to the incredible mix of excitement and awkwardness that entering a new country involves. One friend who lived here didn't like it. She felt it was tacky. Others who have a romantic love affair with Sweden through their family heritage, visiting Sweden on vacation, or studying aboard here for 6 months or less, sometimes found it a bit too critical of the foreigner's experience in Sweden.
Which perhaps leads me to my first point. The experience of actually moving abroad, leaving home, family, job and actually attempting to acculturate to another country all together is extremely different than visiting, studying abroad, or connecting with family traditions. The added dimension that Doug and I have not had is being in a cross-culture relationship. This will always present challenges because no matter where in the world you and your partner live, one of you will always be the foreigner. One of the major reasons moving somewhere as opposed to visiting or studying there is that at some point in your journey, all of the things that you found initially charming and funny eventually annoy you. The key to handling the annoying bits is to try to understand why they have become annoying and adjust accordingly. This often takes a year's time, when you've expended energy on learning the language, set up a bank account, adjusted to foreign currency, and the glow of living abroad has been replaced by reality. Don't get me wrong. I have loved living in Sweden. But even after 16 years there are things that baffle me and make me a little crazy. However, the same can be said about other things in the US but that is a reflection for another day.
As for the first episode: Here are my obvious reactions:
1. When Amy tells Bruce to enjoy Norway! I had to laugh. So many people think we are living in Switzerland. Cracks me up how this happens ALL THE TIME.
2. My experience with meeting Swedes for the first time is that they weren't so huggy as they were in the show. And the outrageous behavior depicted with the drinking is not entirely fair and would likely not take place on someone's first day unless you were to land on midsummer eve. Then maybe it wasn't so far fetched!
3. The way Swedes raise is glass was hilariously depicted...with all the eye looking. It is indeed an art and value that is not to be messed with! And we've sat around may a Swedish table, positively dumbstruck by all the singing. How can every Swede know all of these songs by heart? Well, I guess we Americans all know Take Me Out to the Ballgame...even if you hate baseball!
4. We have been to crayfish parties where all the sucking of the fish was equally as loud as in the show!
5. Small talk does not come easily for Swedes. The scene with Emma's father trying to find something to talk to Bruce about was hilarious for me.
6. The character who loves American TV and film is hilarious because we've seen how American media has shaped Sweden's view of the US. Many Swedes hone their English through watching our films and TV and for better and often for worse, allow our media to shape their view of us. We are a fairly shallow lot in the media. But then again, our view of Sweden from the media is also very silly. There is no Swedish bikini team, not everyone has blue eyes and blonde hair, and Sweden is not an evil communistic socialist state.
7. The sauna scene was just funny because of its outrageousness. It is true...no swimwear in the sauna. The claim is that is unhygienic. You do eventually adjust to the rule, even as an American, if you enjoy the sauna. Mixed nude saunas are very rare and I've never encountered one in a public place. Also, I have never been with Swedes drinking in the sauna. It is true that Swedes are generally much more comfortable being naked than Americans are. But it is absolutely not a sexual thing at all. In fact, when on a beach with topless women or naked men, it is really quite a non-issue. And really, when you think about, it does allow you the comfort of not having to sit around in a wet bathing suit. That said, I only bathe au natural when alone or with Doug. Even 16 years has not emboldened me that much.
8. I love seeing Lena Olin in a Swedish role. She is super funny for starters and it's fun for me to listen to her speak Swedish.

Us on midsummer eve, the only day of the year I wear a flower wreath. I have never seen a Swede pick someone up at the airport with this flower arrangement on their head!

Another of the comments was that it was a little racy. I think that's also true for the standard of what defines raciness here in Sweden is very different than in the US. There will be drinking, sexual references, and maybe even a bit more nudity along the way. Some of the episodes are not that funny at all, but I encourage you to see the series through. There aren't that many episodes and it will be fun to reflect on it together. I am happy that my friends in the US are at least getting a slightly different look at what it means to be an American here. Of course, it's way over the top...but as I mentioned at the beginning...that's why we can laugh. Because it doesn't hit quite so close to home as to hurt. I must say, good on the Swedes for allowing such self-deprecation to be depicted in this show. It does reveal their silly side which is often quite hidden. I have appreciated their ability to laugh at themselves. We certainly all need to for no culture is without its quirks.

Welcome to Sweden

Tonight, July 10, 2014, a new show airs in the U.S. called Welcome to Sweden. The premise is that an American Guy with a Swedish girlfriend moves to Stockholm and what ensues are all kinds of cultural clashes and amusing situations.

Here we are, in 1998, shortly after we moved to Sweden!
Who would've guessed then that these two crazy "kids" would spend 16+ years of their life here!!!

The show aired in Sweden last year and Doug and I watched every episode, laughing hysterically at the situations described. We wondered how an American audience would receive this, given that so much of the humor required living here and experiencing all that Greg Pohler experienced when he first moved to Sweden with his girlfriend and later depicted it in a sitcom!
Of course, the stereo-typing is obvious but even so, we had to pause at times because we were on the floor laughing or rewind to watch a scene twice due to the reality depicted in the TV show! Some of it hit quite close to home!
So...now, a lot of our friends, who have either lived here or have some close affinity to Sweden, are posed and ready to watch tonight on NBC at 9.00/8.00 central time. 
We are very curious about the US re-action so while the show airs, I'd like to have a running commentary on what you as viewers outside of Sweden thought was funny or confusing. I'd like to hear on this blog post in the comments section, your reactions to this show.
Since we are ahead of the US in time, it will be Friday morning before I see the reactions. I will re-watch the show through the wonders of a slingbox and comment on your comments!
Let's use this opportunity for a wonderful, while tongue in cheek perhaps, look at what it means to live another country! I will share my thoughts within a day of the show airing and tell you what I resonated with as someone who lived this sitcom in real life! It will be a great opportunity for us to engage in a cultural exchange!
I'm fascinated by Americans who want to live in Sweden. After having lived here for 16 years, there's not much fantasy about it, even if there are things that I find completely wonderful. But I am interested in what drives that desire to live here...and how watching this over the top, stereo-typical sitcom yet still has some truth in it sitcom either encourages that desire or causes you to wonder.
I look forward to the conversation!
I really do hope you enjoy Welcome to Sweden! I look forward to seeing it again!