Welcome to Sweden: Episode 2

OK, so now we're two weeks into our Swedish/American cultural exchange via TV and here are my thoughts on Episode 2. It is
 H-A-R-D to learn a new language at any time but especially difficult the older you are. When we first moved here, Doug and I would try to speak Swedish with one another when we walked our dog. But Doug would just start making up words and I would throw Spanish in once in awhile so it wasn't a very fruitful learning experience! It did make for some good laughs however! Errors are inevitable and when you try to translate expressions, it gets rather hopeless rather fast! There are small nuances to words that are very hard for a foreigner to hear so it's easy to make a lot of mistakes, even some embarrassing ones along the way! As my friend Liz mentioned in her comments last week, one of the frustrating aspects of seeking to learn Swedish is that because the Swedes are so well-versed in English, they will often hear your broken Swedish and immediately switch to English, thus giving you no opportunity to practice. One experience stands out for me. I had to go to a music store to buy drum sticks and well, that wasn't exactly included in the vocabulary lessons so I walked in and asked, "Prata du engelska?" the phrase I have perfected in Swedish! He said, "Of course" as many Swedes reply in this way. So we transacted our business and then he asked how long I had lived in Stockholm. I said, "6 years." And of course, he proceeded to scold me for not speaking Swedish after all those years. So I switched to Swedish and said, "I do speak Swedish. But if I try to speak Swedish with Swedes, you switch to English so I just thought I'd skip that step!" grrrr. But then, after about 7 years something amazing happened...the Swedes quit switching to English! All of the sudden something in my pronunciation and vocabulary and sentence structure created enough confidence in my language skills that the native speakers of Swedish were willing to speak Swedish with an American! It is frustrating however to feel like you want to learn the language but those around you don't really want to help you. They'd rather practice their English. Fine. But don't criticize English speakers when they don't speak such great Swedish!
On being embarrassed to admit you are American...I have felt this at times, especially when the political situation was very hot regarding the war in Iraq. It's a funny thing to be from America...so many stereotypes and pre-conceived notions emerge. Some good, some not so good. Words to live by: Do not judge a person by their country.
I will say this about the show: The brother character is totally atypical and I don't like his role in the show. He comes across so stupid and clueless and I find it terribly distracting and unfair. Not sure why the writers felt they needed to write the brother in such a dumb manner.
Of course, Bruce and Emma's desire to get some alone time dominated this episode in an overbearing manner. Wondering how the American audience received this.
The scenes at the summer house bring a big smile to my face, especially the exchange between Bruce and Emma's father! The notion that a summer house is to work and build is really very funny. While Swedes do love to relax, it is also true that most spend the entire summer working on the summer house. And yes, most summer places that are out in the archipelago have only an outhouse...strict plumbing rules prevent flush systems although now there is a new and dazzling toilet called the Cinderella that turns human waste into ash. It is truly awesome. Our friends with the gorgeous summer place have one and it has transformed toilet life in the archipelago! You put a large coffee filter type thing in the toilet, do your business, then flush. Instant incineration. Truly genius. Although I will add that the outhouses I've used here are the cleanest and nicest I've ever had to use.
Will Farrell's cameo was of course hilarious. Just the condescending way he chides Bruce was very funny. The fact that he's actually married to a Swede adds to the humor. I thought the woman playing his wife in the show was his real wife, but apparently that is not the case. Have never seen what she actually looks like but someone said she is a brunette.
On the Dala Horse: There are more American homes with Dala horse decorations than any Swedish homes. In fact, I'm not sure I have seen any Dala horses on display in a Swedish home. That said, they are a national treasure. Yes, I have a few in our home here.
Finally, the small detail of Bruce not liking cinnamon is only appreciated if you understand the importance of Fika: the hallowed tradition of coffee and a little something, usually a cinnamon bun! Not liking cinnamon is almost heretical. A hard cultural nuance to catch if you have not experienced this.
All in all, some clever bits in this episode but still...I wonder if sustains attention with the humor being even more and more subtle.
Those are my thoughts: How about yours?

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 1

Hello readers and watchers of the new TV show Welcome to Sweden. I received some great comments regarding the show and will continue to watch with interest as the series unfolds in the US. Probably the most obvious comments are rooted in this sense of needing a little backstory on living in Sweden to fully appreciate the humor. That is why I wonder if an American audience will find it sustainably interesting. I even wonder about a second season here in Sweden. Cultural stereo-typing only goes so far and in the case of this TV show, it's already way over the top. I guess we feel more freedom to laugh when the stereotyping is quite outrageous because in some ways, perhaps the more subtle cultural differences make us uncomfortable rather than providing a mechanism for a chuckle. Please do take the time to read the comments after yesterday's post.
Not surprising to me, the comments with the most resonance came from those who have lived here, especially other Americans we have known. They could see through the stereotyping to the incredible mix of excitement and awkwardness that entering a new country involves. One friend who lived here didn't like it. She felt it was tacky. Others who have a romantic love affair with Sweden through their family heritage, visiting Sweden on vacation, or studying aboard here for 6 months or less, sometimes found it a bit too critical of the foreigner's experience in Sweden.
Which perhaps leads me to my first point. The experience of actually moving abroad, leaving home, family, job and actually attempting to acculturate to another country all together is extremely different than visiting, studying abroad, or connecting with family traditions. The added dimension that Doug and I have not had is being in a cross-culture relationship. This will always present challenges because no matter where in the world you and your partner live, one of you will always be the foreigner. One of the major reasons moving somewhere as opposed to visiting or studying there is that at some point in your journey, all of the things that you found initially charming and funny eventually annoy you. The key to handling the annoying bits is to try to understand why they have become annoying and adjust accordingly. This often takes a year's time, when you've expended energy on learning the language, set up a bank account, adjusted to foreign currency, and the glow of living abroad has been replaced by reality. Don't get me wrong. I have loved living in Sweden. But even after 16 years there are things that baffle me and make me a little crazy. However, the same can be said about other things in the US but that is a reflection for another day.
As for the first episode: Here are my obvious reactions:
1. When Amy tells Bruce to enjoy Norway! I had to laugh. So many people think we are living in Switzerland. Cracks me up how this happens ALL THE TIME.
2. My experience with meeting Swedes for the first time is that they weren't so huggy as they were in the show. And the outrageous behavior depicted with the drinking is not entirely fair and would likely not take place on someone's first day unless you were to land on midsummer eve. Then maybe it wasn't so far fetched!
3. The way Swedes raise is glass was hilariously depicted...with all the eye looking. It is indeed an art and value that is not to be messed with! And we've sat around may a Swedish table, positively dumbstruck by all the singing. How can every Swede know all of these songs by heart? Well, I guess we Americans all know Take Me Out to the Ballgame...even if you hate baseball!
4. We have been to crayfish parties where all the sucking of the fish was equally as loud as in the show!
5. Small talk does not come easily for Swedes. The scene with Emma's father trying to find something to talk to Bruce about was hilarious for me.
6. The character who loves American TV and film is hilarious because we've seen how American media has shaped Sweden's view of the US. Many Swedes hone their English through watching our films and TV and for better and often for worse, allow our media to shape their view of us. We are a fairly shallow lot in the media. But then again, our view of Sweden from the media is also very silly. There is no Swedish bikini team, not everyone has blue eyes and blonde hair, and Sweden is not an evil communistic socialist state.
7. The sauna scene was just funny because of its outrageousness. It is true...no swimwear in the sauna. The claim is that is unhygienic. You do eventually adjust to the rule, even as an American, if you enjoy the sauna. Mixed nude saunas are very rare and I've never encountered one in a public place. Also, I have never been with Swedes drinking in the sauna. It is true that Swedes are generally much more comfortable being naked than Americans are. But it is absolutely not a sexual thing at all. In fact, when on a beach with topless women or naked men, it is really quite a non-issue. And really, when you think about, it does allow you the comfort of not having to sit around in a wet bathing suit. That said, I only bathe au natural when alone or with Doug. Even 16 years has not emboldened me that much.
8. I love seeing Lena Olin in a Swedish role. She is super funny for starters and it's fun for me to listen to her speak Swedish.

Us on midsummer eve, the only day of the year I wear a flower wreath. I have never seen a Swede pick someone up at the airport with this flower arrangement on their head!

Another of the comments was that it was a little racy. I think that's also true for the standard of what defines raciness here in Sweden is very different than in the US. There will be drinking, sexual references, and maybe even a bit more nudity along the way. Some of the episodes are not that funny at all, but I encourage you to see the series through. There aren't that many episodes and it will be fun to reflect on it together. I am happy that my friends in the US are at least getting a slightly different look at what it means to be an American here. Of course, it's way over the top...but as I mentioned at the beginning...that's why we can laugh. Because it doesn't hit quite so close to home as to hurt. I must say, good on the Swedes for allowing such self-deprecation to be depicted in this show. It does reveal their silly side which is often quite hidden. I have appreciated their ability to laugh at themselves. We certainly all need to for no culture is without its quirks.