Welcome to Sweden: Episode 8 and the Season Finale

So, when we sat down to watch this week's episodes I was utterly confused. NBC skipped an entire episode which moves the plot along so if you were confused about why Emma's dad was in the hospital and who the pony-tailed guy named Marcus was, be of good cheer. You never saw how this plot developed. If you live in the US, you can watch the full episode online. Not sure why NBC would do this but apparently they thought it would be fun to throw an online episode into the mix. It is available until Sept. 27 and you can see it here. ://community.ew.com/2014/08/28/welcome-to-sweden-recap-breakups/ A very brief written summary of the show is available there as well that will get you a bit caught up.
The last two episodes to air in the US had a lot of Swedish in them and not as much humor as they were used to really move the plot along. Even so, there were some things worth noting.
Episode 8 opens up with Bruce back in New York at a restaurant overwhelmed by how great it is to be back in the US! Of course, the waiter mistakes Bruce as a gay European which Bruce takes great offense to, defending himself by stating that he bought his clothes at H&M, the cheap but fashionable iconic Swedish clothing store that has grabbed the world's attention! And of course, the waiter recommends the meatballs! And of course, Bruce makes all kind of statements about food and eating to ensure that he comes across as American. I want four servings of apple pie and super weak coffee and I will eat more than I should because I'm an American! When the waiter tells Bruce that his English is excellent for a foreigner I had to chuckle. I can't tell you how many people in the US tell me that my English is excellent after I tell them that I live in Sweden. My mom even had someone tell her that I speak excellent English and my mom was like, uh, yeah, she was raised here! Funny assumptions people make.
Amy Pohler's commentary on Sweden was pretty funny when they are sitting in the bar. Talking about Swedish films moving at a snail's pace, Bruce trying to look people in the eye before they drink, and him asking the bartender to put on the soccer match! Such silly ways to portray the differences in culture, indeed.
The bar that Emma and Viveka are in is called O'Leary's and is a Boston themed type pub. They are all over Stockholm and offer cheap bar food and lots of sports, even American football! The one they were in is on Södermalm and was the only place we could watch NFL when we first moved here. Because of the time change, the games didn't start until 10.30pm so we'd venture over there to watch Viking games late at night. Good memories of our early years here. I love the snarky comment from Emma to her mother about being dressed like Lisbeth Salander! Anyone who has read the Millenium novels will understand that this is a good joke. Actually, that pub is very close to where Lisbeth Salander lived!
Meanwhile, Bruce and Aubrey are back in NY getting into all kinds of trouble and Marcus and Emma end up in a fancy, beautiful cellar restaurant likely in Gamla Stan. These are lovely and worth the splurge if you are ever in town. Our favorite is called Fem Små Hus meaning Five Small Houses. I thought the detail of Emma opening the menu and seeing the ring thinking it was from Marcus was pretty good. Turns out, it was just the waitress who had lost her ring earlier her shift! Perhaps that was a fateful turning moment for Emma and Bruce however as it caused Emma to kick Marcus out of her life for good.
While not as funny as the other episodes, this episode does explore the great question of Can Love Conquer All? Both Emma and Bruce and Birger and Viveka are exploring this reality from differing points of view.
On a side note, I have to laugh a little that the US market is airing commercials for Gevalia coffee. While seen as the top gourmet Swedish coffee brand in the US due to clever marketing, it's actually more like the Folgers of coffee here in Sweden! I don't know of many who buy it here. My coffee of choice is the fantastic Zoegas. 
Too bad you can't buy that in the US!
Finally, the season finale is upon us. Emma is trying to get her parents back together while Gustav is dreaming of how great a divorce would be: Two of everything. Two birthdays, two Christmases, etc. Sad but maybe real commentary on a kid's view of their parents splitting. Emma, disgusted, asks Gustav if he's 12 and has he considered that his mother will kick him out and he'll have to grow up, get a job and pay rent. Faced with this terrible reality, he works at getting his parents back together as well. The references to Sweden from the Americans include a mention of Volvo, Ikea and herring. Admittedly, these three things do figure broadly into Swedish life! The first two I like. The third, I would never, ever miss. Bruce and Emma both realize that being together is what they want so in true romantic comedy fashion, they make plans to go to one another at the same time. Bruce engages all manner of people at the airport who will listen to his lovelorn story. One goofy detail was when Bruce was supposed to be at the airport in New York, the signs behind him were clearly the signs at the Stockholm airport! Guess they didn't want to spend the money to film in New York but perhaps they could've been a bit more careful about the background details!
Not so very much to say about the finale. Birger and Viveka get back to together. The summer house goes up for sale (which probably would never, ever happen in real life. People hang onto their summer houses and pass them from generation to generation!) and Bruce and Emma have a serendipitous meeting at the Stockholm airport on the escalators thus setting up the next season.
Perhaps a bit anti-climatic, at least the story line is developing a bit as we close the season. I would imagine that the second season must include winter as that is such a big part of Swedish life and one of the more difficult aspects for foreigners to adjust to. It's not the cold, it's the dark!
So, the first season is a wrap. It's been fun to journey through my second home with all you. If the US decides to do a sitcom based in Palm Springs, CA, I'd be delighted to star in it or at the very least, write my reflections. Not sure when the second season is coming out but until then, I'll keep blogging about my real life in Sweden! For now, raise a glass with a friend, look them and everyone else around the table in the eye and shout skål.

The King and Queen of Sweden at a party we hosted!

Perhaps that's as close to Sweden as you'll get for now!

Welcome to Sweden: Episodes 6 & 7

This week was a double doozy with back to back episodes. I must say, these were the most outrageous in terms of jabbing at both the American and Swedish culture. I thought they did a clever job of taking up some important social differences while maintaining a decent sense of humor.
First Episode 6:
I'll start with Bruce's parents, all together too typified as the ugly American who lacks any cultural sensitivity at all. Of course, there are stereotypes: I want to see Vikings! All Swedes are not blonde! No one works! Everyone lives off the government! Complaining that there are so many foreigners in this town while they themselves are the actual foreigners. It points to a pre-conceived notion that some people have when traveling. They express an interest in the Swedish culture (or whatever culture they are visiting) based on their prior assumptions, which are often caricatures based on media influence and then being disappointed when their "fantasy" of life in Sweden wasn't based on any actual reality! The perception that Sweden is an ice covered land in all seasons was pretty hilarious to me.
In 16 years I can confess that I've never seen a Viking walking down the street. And no one wears the hats with braids and horns, except for fun.

Yes, we've been know to dress the part of the stereo-typical Viking/Swede. This is a long time ago however before we were married. Perhaps a foreshadowing of the life that awaited us!

You are much more likely to see this at a Minnesota Vikings football game than anywhere in Stockholm.
On the Swedish side: I have to say that I really love Lena Olin in this role. She is so darn funny playing Emma's Swedish mama! If you know Swedish it's even funnier. A few of the nuances in cultural differences include the perceived insincerity of Americans by Swedes in the way we say things like How are you? Or You should come visit! without really meaning it. The fact that the brother took them up on their offer to visit highlighted this lack of sincerity. Of course, Americans just call it small talk and being nice. Swedes find it superficial and disingenuous. Of course, we often find Swedes rude for not offering up these simple, well-intended if not entirely sincere phrases! Thus the culture clash that sometimes ensues.
It was quite impressive to see how Episode 6 took up differences in the way Americans and Swedes perceive marriage and children, religion, and gay vs. just European all in one fell swoop! Marriage is differently valued here and this Sambo is akin common law marriage but is an actual binding category for couples and very socially acceptable. Having children before marriage isn't so unusual and we know couples who have been sambo for 40 years but have never married...both inside and outside of the church. It's a very different perception that I've never fully understood, especially among church folks. The conversation around religion was fascinating as Swedes readily admit to their atheism. The vast majority of the population would not lay claim to any religious belief and you can sometimes feel actual contempt from those who do believe in God. In some ways they wear their lack of religious belief like a badge of honor. It's one interesting result of the church and state being fused for so many years. This arrangement does not lead to a deeper piety. Quite the opposite. There were several Swedish plays on words that I'm sure were missed by non-Swedish speakers. Even with the translation the subtlety of the humor was likely lost in translation. One of my favorites was when Birger (best pronounced beer not burger!) is telling Wayne that he worked for the kommun meaning municipality. Wayne mistakenly interprets as communist and Birger, not really understanding English all that well heartily agrees! Also when he says Var Så Goda before the meal and then translates it be so goda...made laugh. We'd really translate it by saying you are most welcome but the literal translation does cause a chuckle because it sounds so ridiculous! I must admit to having said "be so goda" several times in the past week to Doug and the dog!
Wayne's initial observation that there are so many male, gay nannies in Stockholm opened up an entire can of worms. Bruce responds, "No dad, they are just fathers taking their 6 months of paternity leave who dress in a classically Swedish/European way." Hence, the comment that no one works and everyone lives off the government! You do actually have to work in order to receive the family leave benefit, but having said that, Sweden does have the most generous paid parental leave in the world.
The whole conversation around determining if someone is gay or European is actually pretty funny. I have gay friends who say that their "gaydar" doesn't really work here because in many ways lots of Swedish men are rather androgynous. The fact that Wayne tries to make the distinction and then ends up in a gay bar enjoying the company, no worse the wiser, was pretty funny. It's true...most Swedish men like to wear tight clothing that almost looks one size too small, tie sweaters around their necks, and flaunt scarves in all types of weather. I suppose the term metrosexual might describe the male scene here in Stockholm but it is admittedly hard to judge a book by its cover here. We have one friend who is skinny and good looking and he has been mistaken for a gay man on more than one occasion. Always gives us a chuckle when he has yet another story to share!
The last thing from Episode 6 that was a little off were the views of the city. Beautiful as they were, they were not in the area where the cruise ships park. A small detail that only one who lives here would notice. Even so, I still liked the gorgeous shots of Stockholm that they showed!
Episode 7 explored the delicate balance between being yourself and trying to fit into your new culture. I resonated with this sense that Swedes say to be yourself but what they really mean is to be yourself as long as it reflects the Swedish culture! But we Americans do this too. I had to laugh at the ways Bruce was trying to fit in...getting walking sticks, eating caviar on crisp bread for breakfast while rejecting donuts as fat and sugary disgusting food. One cool thing is that when Bruce and Emma are walking through the park, (with Bruce using his walking sticks) the park shown is close to our house and we walk through it often! I really had to laugh as they made fun of the Swedish way of being as being equivalent to being depressed! Poor Bruce. Everyone thought he was depressed and he was just trying to act more Swedish! I will say this: Swedes value sameness. My experience has been that they like things to be quite even...not too up, not too down...lagom as they say, which is the hardest word in the world to translate. It can mean, everyone the same, all the same measure, middle of the road, or mediocre. Hard to grasp if lagom is a good thing or a bad thing. Probably somewhere in between, which would be perfect for Sweden!
When Aubrey lands in Stockholm to stalk Bruce and ultimately talk him into coming back to New York, they tour the city a bit, ending up at the new ABBA museum. We've walked by but haven't been in yet.

We have lip synced Abba songs however. Check out my platform shoes.
And Doug...Oj, oj, oj...looking the most like Benny Anderson in the 70's!

Not sure the entire American audience would know that the man Bruce runs into at the museum and later encounters as his first celebrity client is Björn Ulvaeus of ABBA fame.
The fact that he is dressed as he did when the band was at its height in the 70's was very funny.
Emma's negotiation with her own boss for a salary raise was another indication of how different the US is from Sweden when it comes to employment issues. She was trying to play hard ball per Bruce's advice and in the end, that just doesn't fly here because in my experience there seem to be strict frameworks around which salaries are designated. Raises are not often given for merit and are usually dictated by the union, of which most everyone is a part. This notion of everyone being equal, of no one being more important than another definitely plays itself out in the work place.
I had to chuckle a bit at the end when Emma finds out that Bruce can make a lot of money in New York and reacts in such a way that the door opens for Bruce to think about moving back. As much as he has spent the first 7 episodes trying to be really excited about being in Stockholm, we have begun to see that the cultural realities are tough and the fatigue that comes from seeking to acculturate has begun to take its toll. He positively jumps for joy at the mere mention of the possibility of moving back to the US! While there are many wonderful things about experiencing a new culture, in some ways, we never lose that default position of our home country being where we really do feel most at home. We'll see how it goes as they begin to make their plans to head back to New York and perhaps encounter some surprises along the way that they had not counted on!

Welcome to Sweden: Episode 2

OK, so now we're two weeks into our Swedish/American cultural exchange via TV and here are my thoughts on Episode 2. It is
 H-A-R-D to learn a new language at any time but especially difficult the older you are. When we first moved here, Doug and I would try to speak Swedish with one another when we walked our dog. But Doug would just start making up words and I would throw Spanish in once in awhile so it wasn't a very fruitful learning experience! It did make for some good laughs however! Errors are inevitable and when you try to translate expressions, it gets rather hopeless rather fast! There are small nuances to words that are very hard for a foreigner to hear so it's easy to make a lot of mistakes, even some embarrassing ones along the way! As my friend Liz mentioned in her comments last week, one of the frustrating aspects of seeking to learn Swedish is that because the Swedes are so well-versed in English, they will often hear your broken Swedish and immediately switch to English, thus giving you no opportunity to practice. One experience stands out for me. I had to go to a music store to buy drum sticks and well, that wasn't exactly included in the vocabulary lessons so I walked in and asked, "Prata du engelska?" the phrase I have perfected in Swedish! He said, "Of course" as many Swedes reply in this way. So we transacted our business and then he asked how long I had lived in Stockholm. I said, "6 years." And of course, he proceeded to scold me for not speaking Swedish after all those years. So I switched to Swedish and said, "I do speak Swedish. But if I try to speak Swedish with Swedes, you switch to English so I just thought I'd skip that step!" grrrr. But then, after about 7 years something amazing happened...the Swedes quit switching to English! All of the sudden something in my pronunciation and vocabulary and sentence structure created enough confidence in my language skills that the native speakers of Swedish were willing to speak Swedish with an American! It is frustrating however to feel like you want to learn the language but those around you don't really want to help you. They'd rather practice their English. Fine. But don't criticize English speakers when they don't speak such great Swedish!
On being embarrassed to admit you are American...I have felt this at times, especially when the political situation was very hot regarding the war in Iraq. It's a funny thing to be from America...so many stereotypes and pre-conceived notions emerge. Some good, some not so good. Words to live by: Do not judge a person by their country.
I will say this about the show: The brother character is totally atypical and I don't like his role in the show. He comes across so stupid and clueless and I find it terribly distracting and unfair. Not sure why the writers felt they needed to write the brother in such a dumb manner.
Of course, Bruce and Emma's desire to get some alone time dominated this episode in an overbearing manner. Wondering how the American audience received this.
The scenes at the summer house bring a big smile to my face, especially the exchange between Bruce and Emma's father! The notion that a summer house is to work and build is really very funny. While Swedes do love to relax, it is also true that most spend the entire summer working on the summer house. And yes, most summer places that are out in the archipelago have only an outhouse...strict plumbing rules prevent flush systems although now there is a new and dazzling toilet called the Cinderella that turns human waste into ash. It is truly awesome. Our friends with the gorgeous summer place have one and it has transformed toilet life in the archipelago! You put a large coffee filter type thing in the toilet, do your business, then flush. Instant incineration. Truly genius. Although I will add that the outhouses I've used here are the cleanest and nicest I've ever had to use.
Will Farrell's cameo was of course hilarious. Just the condescending way he chides Bruce was very funny. The fact that he's actually married to a Swede adds to the humor. I thought the woman playing his wife in the show was his real wife, but apparently that is not the case. Have never seen what she actually looks like but someone said she is a brunette.
On the Dala Horse: There are more American homes with Dala horse decorations than any Swedish homes. In fact, I'm not sure I have seen any Dala horses on display in a Swedish home. That said, they are a national treasure. Yes, I have a few in our home here.
Finally, the small detail of Bruce not liking cinnamon is only appreciated if you understand the importance of Fika: the hallowed tradition of coffee and a little something, usually a cinnamon bun! Not liking cinnamon is almost heretical. A hard cultural nuance to catch if you have not experienced this.
All in all, some clever bits in this episode but still...I wonder if sustains attention with the humor being even more and more subtle.
Those are my thoughts: How about yours?