Welcome to Sweden

Tonight, July 10, 2014, a new show airs in the U.S. called Welcome to Sweden. The premise is that an American Guy with a Swedish girlfriend moves to Stockholm and what ensues are all kinds of cultural clashes and amusing situations.

Here we are, in 1998, shortly after we moved to Sweden!
Who would've guessed then that these two crazy "kids" would spend 16+ years of their life here!!!

The show aired in Sweden last year and Doug and I watched every episode, laughing hysterically at the situations described. We wondered how an American audience would receive this, given that so much of the humor required living here and experiencing all that Greg Pohler experienced when he first moved to Sweden with his girlfriend and later depicted it in a sitcom!
Of course, the stereo-typing is obvious but even so, we had to pause at times because we were on the floor laughing or rewind to watch a scene twice due to the reality depicted in the TV show! Some of it hit quite close to home!
So...now, a lot of our friends, who have either lived here or have some close affinity to Sweden, are posed and ready to watch tonight on NBC at 9.00/8.00 central time. 
We are very curious about the US re-action so while the show airs, I'd like to have a running commentary on what you as viewers outside of Sweden thought was funny or confusing. I'd like to hear on this blog post in the comments section, your reactions to this show.
Since we are ahead of the US in time, it will be Friday morning before I see the reactions. I will re-watch the show through the wonders of a slingbox and comment on your comments!
Let's use this opportunity for a wonderful, while tongue in cheek perhaps, look at what it means to live another country! I will share my thoughts within a day of the show airing and tell you what I resonated with as someone who lived this sitcom in real life! It will be a great opportunity for us to engage in a cultural exchange!
I'm fascinated by Americans who want to live in Sweden. After having lived here for 16 years, there's not much fantasy about it, even if there are things that I find completely wonderful. But I am interested in what drives that desire to live here...and how watching this over the top, stereo-typical sitcom yet still has some truth in it sitcom either encourages that desire or causes you to wonder.
I look forward to the conversation!
I really do hope you enjoy Welcome to Sweden! I look forward to seeing it again!

Summery, Finally

Stockholm is having one of "those" summer...the bad kind. Lots of clouds, lots of rain, not much warmth or sunshine. It hasn't bothered me much since I spent June in Palm Springs with sunshine and heat every single day! But even in the few days that I've been back, I can feel how this bad weather is wearing on people's nerves and psyches!
Today started as a beautiful sunshiney day and the promise of a lasting summer day was lurking. This afternoon at about 4.00 p.m. a huge clap of thunder struck followed by a full-blown down pour.  I had made plans to meet some friends at a waterfront diner so wondered what all that would look like. But lo and behold, by 5.30 when I headed out, it was clearing again and a measure of warmth was re-entering the atmosphere. 
We ended up at Lily's Burgers, a delightful little place on Kungsholmen where they make a real deal American hamburger and peanut chocolate milkshakes. It was pure indulgence but a tasty one at that. The conversation and company were wonderful and the landscape kept getting prettier and prettier.
We walked along the newly beautified waterfront, admiring the high setting sun and beautiful condos that now line the strand. We stopped to relax on this odd shaped concrete wall-like thing that we found strangely comfortable. Three adult women relaxing in the prone position gave way to much laughter and relaxation. All of us have had a bit of stress in the past few weeks so a good chuckle was medicine for the soul! It's fun to act like children now and again.
We finished our walk next to this area with little country-like stugas and gardens. Hard to believe we were in the city this entire time.
That's the magic of Stockholm...gorgeous city surrounded by fantastically beautiful water views and nature.
It was warm and light and relaxing. Felt like summer...for the first time this year.

The Power of the Written Word

My parents kept a lot of junk but they kept some pretty great things too. Both of them were deeply involved with people in their life work and thus generated praise and criticism from various directions. Well, my mom generated praise but my dad...well, both were certainly in full supply! One of the neat things I've found in my digging around their stuff were files that my father kept of letters, notes and even telegrams! that he received throughout his coaching career. It has been deeply meaningful for me to peruse these letters and see the deep impact he had made on so many people across so many years. The fact that I never knew any of these letters existed points to his humility. He never sought praise and always down played it but finding these files affirmed in my mind that even the toughest football coach needs a little positive feedback once in awhile! Because while the praise file was pretty thick, so was the file marked Letters: Problems. This file was equally enlightening because it revealed to me that all was not fun and games for him. While spectators enjoyed the fruit of the winning seasons, we were not privy to the disappointment and anger that parents, school administrators, other coaches, referees etc. expressed to him over one issue or another. Again, it shows his deep character that I also never knew of these struggles but I can now see how deep the burdens often were even in the midst of his winning seasons. It gives me a greater sense of how much pressure he felt to win, to please, to make the right decision about every player, to handle the parents and the school administration with kid gloves. It's a wonder he stayed in it for so many years.
But finding these files reminds me of a couple of things. First, it is important for all of us to be reminded of the good job that we are doing. And because we will also face deep criticism at some point (all who pursue excellence will face criticism), it's important to keep a "pull me up" file! In this day and age it's harder as we have to print out the messages that come via email, but even so, it's important to compile the compliments so you can return to them when you are mired in conflict or doubt. A counterpoint to this however is to become the one who writes the note or email that sends encouragement to one who is blessing you at any given moment. These notes matter, regardless of how successful or confident an individual seems.
I suppose not all of us would keep a Problems file and yet, there's value here as well for our story is never complete without the ways in which we have to confront criticism or adversity. I suppose now my dad would laugh about a lot of these issues, which is also good. Perspective is a good thing over time and good for us to remember in the heat of any moment. But I suppose he also took to heart many of the things stated and used them to sharpen even further his skill with coaching and handling people. A counterpoint to this however is to remember when launching critique at someone that it does matter and there's usually a back story or at least far more than meets the eye. It's not that we shouldn't critique those in leadership but when we do so, we should consider carefully what the intended goal of the critique really is.
It's a joy and a treasure to troll through these letters. I even found one from me back in 2003 on Father's Day. Here's a little excerpt because the words ring true even today.
Hi Dad. The one regret that I really have is that I never got to play for a coach like you. I never had anyone so dedicated, or who pushed me, or who knew so much about the game I was playing so that I would really learn and grow and have a chance to be on a championship team. It occurs to me that I should share that with you. We often things about the people we love to other people, but we never share them with the ones involved in the story. So, for whatever it's worth...I wish I could've played for a coach like you and enjoyed the experience that so many of your players did with you. That said however, I am glad I got to be a part of it as your daughter and I'm glad you're my dad. Love you.
I'm thankful I wrote those to words to him while we were still able to enjoy one another's company. If you have something you'd like to say to someone, get a card, pick up a pen, or sit down at the computer and write it out. They will appreciate the gesture so much and you will not regret sending the greeting.

The Beautiful Game Known as Football (almost) All Over the World

Yes, I am a World Cup fan. I have not always been so. Let's recall that I grew up with a father who ate, drank and breathed American football and let's also recall, that before 1998, I would never have referred to it as American football. But we do grow and evolve as we are exposed to new situations, people and experiences.
Doug and I were married in the spring of 1994 in Chicago. That summer, Chicago hosted the opening ceremonies of the World Cup. Doug was trying to explain to me what a big deal it was for the US to be hosting the Cup. I wasn't very interested. Remember, I grew up with an American Football coach father who really thought that soccer was an activity that may not catch on because in its purest form, it was indeed a communist plot to overtake the world!
But then in 1998 we moved to Sweden. Our move to Europe preempted any thoughts about soccer, at least for me. But by the time 2002 rolled around, I had been the pastor of a church where over 50 different nationalities were present and my global awareness had gone up exponentially! Suddenly every single person in our church was talking about football! The hotel next to our church put up large screens and we discovered that many parishioners were sneaking over to check out the scores on Sundays! And I was learning more and more about the game itself so instead of being focused on a lack of scoring, which frankly, is why many Americans can't get into soccer, I began to enjoy the rhythm and beauty of the game itself. And truly, EVERY single person around me was into it and loving it! By the time 2006 rolled around, I was a full on World Cup junkie like the rest of my congregation! Doug and I took a trip to Greece during the early stages of the tournament and couldn't believe that every single restaurant had outdoor TV screens set up and you could watch the games any time, any place! We even held our first ever Immanuel Cup where men and women from ages 6-70 played football all afternoon in a nearby park! (We have continued this tradition on an annual basis!).

The evening of the final, we hosted a large screen event at church and enjoyed the cheering and jeering that went on.  In 2010, the South African vuvuzelas (the plastic horns that created the incessant buzz in the stadiums) drove us all crazy! By now, I knew some of the players and was really starting to enjoy watching the underdog teams make a run for glory! And now, here we are again in 2014 and the madness has started all over again! I'm in the US right now which is a better time zone for viewing games than Sweden so I'm having a great time checking scores, watching games, and reading the commentary that is coming over Facebook all the time! Admittedly, I still don't pay attention for a full 90 minutes but today I was in a restaurant by myself while the USA-Ghana match was on. I was thrilled to be amidst other fans, all delighting in the beautiful game, as it is known throughout the world. The fact that the US pulled out the win in the final minutes was a real bonus!
Leading up to the Cup several ads were released to generate interest. Here are two that are simply just cool. Take a minute and watch: The Future of Football?
Still not convinced? Watch this beauty and begin to see the global impact of this incredible game. Must Make You Smile
Of course, like all professional sport, FIFA has its issues and football is not void of its problems. But I for one am proud to say that even though I did not grow up loving or appreciating this game, I am so thrilled to have come into the sentiment of the World Cup and appreciate why the rest of the world loves it ever so much. Even my American football loving father began to watch the World Cup because of his Mexican friends! I know, I know...too many games are decided by shoot out. Too much drama from the players who act like they've broken their leg every time they fall down. Not enough scoring to sate the American palette for high scoring events. And yet, to watch the movement, to see the athleticism of the players, to watch an underdog beat a favorite...well, it really is a thing of beauty. And when they crown a World Champion...it really is a World champion because, well, the World has participated!
In case you care, I'm cheering for Brazil (because I picked them to win) Colombia and the USA because I've lived in both of those countries. (I'm still bummed out that Sweden didn't qualify this time around) and any African nation when they aren't playing the above named nations!
So let me end by saying this: If you don't like the World Cup, that's fine. But please, for the love of the rest of the world, don't complain about it. Open your mind and open your heart to the beauty that is football...and I don't mean American football...I mean World football. 

Beginning Again

I need to start writing again. It has been hard for me to do this since my dad died. I have only managed to write two posts since he passed on April 4, 2014. Grief creates a strange sort of fatigue that is hard to grasp. When you are grieving, you find the energy to accomplish the tasks you HAVE to do...things like work and domestic chores. But there is little energy to consider things you should or want to do but aren't pressed in some way to get it done. And even joyful hobbies, like writing this blog, go by the wayside as your insides roil about with emotions and feelings that you often do not understand.
But I've been back in California, with Doug, for the past two weeks as we have tackled the Herculean task of getting my parents' house emptied and ready to put on the market. It's summer in Palm Springs which means temperatures are well over 100°F and moving, clearing, and boxing stuff up isn't the most enjoyable activity. But alas, with Doug's good work ethic and the help of some of the guys my dad was close to, we got it done. We had a sale last Saturday and the thrift store guy came and picked up the rest yesterday. What an odd feeling to be alone in their empty house. In some ways, it helps me to see that it's a structure not a home, a place with memories for sure, but memories that I can carry with me even though the place no longer remains mine. What is very strange is that all these things, all the stuff that filled their house and sheds and closets, was now mine to deal with. It no longer held any value or meaning for my mom and dad. And while some of it is meaningful to me, a lot of it was just stuff they had that they didn't know what to do with, so they put it in the shed. Now, these goods are in our house, sold to strangers, or being sold at the Revivals thrift shops in Palm Springs. The proceeds of those stores benefit the desert AIDS project and I think my folks would be happy to support that.
We ended up with so much trash as well...we accumulate trash because we don't how to dispose of it or we feel ambivalent about getting rid of it. We think we should sell it, or wonder if we will use it again, or if it could be of use to another person...sometimes maybe, other times, not.  This is but a mere fraction of the trash we hauled away!
What is probably the single most profound aspect of losing someone is that all communication is finished. There are no more chances for conversation, opinions, or questions. So on the day of the sale I was thinking about so many different things that I wanted to ask them. I wanted a back story on some of the stuff...I wanted to know why they had so many dishes, why they kept so much unused kitchen stuff, why they had a gazillion still in the original packaging picture frames!
I did find some pretty cool items that I will tuck away and decide about down the road. One of the greatest was this plate that my maternal grandmother painted for my parents when they got married. I found another one that said it was a blue ribbon winner at the county fair! I never even knew my grandmother painted!
And then I wanted to tell them that Adrian and Gabe, two of the Mexican guys my dad was close to, helped us haul stuff and that Adrian wanted the portrait that Dennis had painted of them. I wanted them to know that Arcella, the woman who cleaned for them, stopped by with two of her kids, and was moved by seeing this household, that she had cleaned, now stacked on tables ready to be moved along. Her 9 year old daughter Samantha took the crazy purple hat that mom had in her closet, Mariano, their son, took the desk lamp and some playing cards, and they bought the TV that was in your bedroom. And Arcella said she wanted to come back and clean the place one more time. It was a great gift for me that day to have people from their park stop in, admire the beauty of their home, and speak kind, kind words about my parents. I will have to wander through the park sometime and see if I can spot the various "treasures" that are now gracing another's home. And soon, the home itself will be on the market and I am hoping and praying that a truly wonderful retired pair will see its value and move in and enjoy it every bit as much as my parents have through these years. 
Yes...as I seek to move through my grief and accept the reality that my parents are no longer here, I feel both sadness and relief. My memories are sharpened and enhanced by the reality that now there are no new memories...only the ones we have made. And I'm thankful that for the most part, mine are all pretty wonderful.

It's Been A Year

Been thinking about this day for awhile and now it's here. 1 year ago today my mom died. 3 weeks ago today my dad died. It's surreal and OK all at the same time. I don't feel as sad today as I did when either of them first passed away. It's hard to be in this world without parents but it's not as hard as I imagined it would be. There is grace. There is peace. And while my immediate sorrow in my dad's passing was the deepest pain I'd ever felt, I have moved through the intensity of the loss a little quicker than with my mom's passing. I am at peace with this season in my life. I feel so deeply blessed and honored to have had the parents I did. I am so thankful that we shared a deep and abiding connection with one another, took time to have hard conversations and to overturn stones that needed upending. They left this earth with no regrets. They left this earth with me knowing how deeply I was loved and with them knowing how deeply they were loved.
The sweetness in knowing that they don't have to live on this earth without one another is something that really sustains me. I only feel joy that my parents enjoyed a 55 year love affair...so much so that my father couldn't even last a year without his beloved by his side. 
In these few weeks following my dad's passing, I think I have realized a bit more deeply how my mom's extended illness had taken its toll not only on my father but also on me. When my father first got sick, I remember praying, "Lord, please do not make me go through another period of trying to care for a critically ill parent while living so far away." Little did I know that God would answer that prayer by taking my father swiftly into His arms, but honestly, I am so grateful that my father is not suffering, languishing in some in between place, alive but not living, breathing but not thriving. What you do want are the young, vibrant, funny, clever, wise, loving and compassionate people that Ted and Rose Ann were for all of their lives. You do want them back...but you never want them back sick. And that means eventually accepting that at some point, you will have to let them go.

My folks and I when I graduated from Seminary

Of course, adjusting to life on earth without parents is a rite of passage that most children face, some at a much earlier age than others. I enjoyed my parent's presence in my life for over 50 years. We enjoyed traveling in Sweden along with trips to Norway, Ireland, Italy, France, Finland, and Latvia.

Being silly in Ireland

We took cruises to Mexico and celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on the Adriatic sea.

Outside the old city of Ephesus, Turkey

The trip to Ephesus was a clear highlight for my mom and what joy it was to see how dad delighted in seeing Rome and Florence! I feel blessed by that.

Ancient toilets in Ephesus

I so dreaded my father's passing after my mom died last year and now I have faced that and survived that as well. Both of Doug's folks are still with us, but we know that eventually we will face that passage as well. It's hard. It's loss. There is sorrow. There is grief. There is sadness that our shared experiences are finished and now it is only our memories that linger. But we have some great memories and for that I am very thankful.
This last year of my life was one that I will never forget. It was a hard year in many ways but also a year that is filled with deep blessing and appreciation for who my parents were as people. Their deaths brought me back into contact with long time friends and that is a treasure to me even today. I was privileged to write and share tributes for both of them at their funerals and while that task was tough, it was also an amazing gift and also incredibly easy to reflect on their lives and speak highly of them. Our common faith binds our hearts in future hope and one day, we'll celebrate anew the joy that it has been to call ourselves family. Peace to their memory. I do miss you, my beloved mom and dad but I am so thankful that you are at peace and at rest in the presence of God and one another. 

Celebrating Dad

As I woke up the morning after my dad's memorial service, I must admit that there were may different feelings swirling around in my mind and heart. The service itself was great and I am so pleased with how it all turned out.

The photo we used during the service, taken by my cousin Mike moments after his first Championship win!

Many former players attended and it was a great reunion of old friends. Several of the coaches who coached with Ted were in attendance and it was just a very special gathering of friends and loved ones.

The flowers from the Mullen Family in Illinois that adorned the altar

The flowers that friends and family sent were just beautiful and the spray sent by Immanuel International was particularly touching.

The wonderful flowers sent by our church, Immanuel International, in Stockholm, Sweden

The American Women's Club in Stockholm also sent a gorgeous arrangement.

The lovely bouquet from the AWC in Stockholm

Special to have my world across the pond tie into this significant event.
I was really pleased with how the service turned out and loved the music. We sang How Great Thou Art, Come To Jesus, and dad's favorite hymn, Because He Lives.

The gorgeous flower arrangements and dad's favorite hymn on the screens

The worship team also sang John Rutter's For the Beauty of the Earth, which we also had at our wedding and it all all very lovely and appropriate. Doug read scripture and prayed a beautiful prayer and Pastor Mike did a great job with the overall service. His message, taken from I Corinthians 9.24-27, was very good and very reflective of what Ted was all about: Family, Faith, Focus and Faithfulness.

The way the church looked as we started the service.

I was privileged to write a tribute and share it and it was really a joy to do that. I only broke up a couple of times and included enough humor that it helped me get through it all! Several of my friends from high school were there and it was a special point of connection for me.

Here is the text of my Tribute to Dad

I would like to start by thanking all of you for coming today, especially on behalf of Ted because let's face it, if any of you had died and scheduled your memorial for Saturday afternoon on the weekend of the Masters, Ted would've been complaining about having to attend your memorial during the Masters until Kingdom come. Can't you just hear him, c'mon, what kind of a clown would schedule a service right in the middle of the Masters golf tournament?

Well it is really hard to believe that just 11 months after I stood before you sharing about my mom, we've landed in the same place with my dad. This time around has been profoundly different for me as it was so unexpected. When my husband and I were here in February, we had a great visit with Ted and left feeling confident that he was back in good physical form after some difficulties and actually coping pretty well with his unwelcome status as a widower. We had even convinced him that the prison of an economy seat on a jumbo jet airliner for the hours it took to get from California to Stockholm was worth it given the absolutely fabulous time we had together last summer and had purchased a ticket for a July reunion on the other side of the pond once again. But none of this was to be when the complications of a twisted colon and two emergency surgeries proved to be too much for his body. This has been a shocking and difficult time for me because I thought I was coming back to the US to be his head cheerleader, providing him with the help and encouragement he needed to beat yet another health setback. However, there were things that were different this time around. He was so weak that he just couldn't envision how he would get back to a more functional life. He said it's the worst pain he's ever felt and he couldn't eat or drink without feeling severely ill. As he was wheeled away for the second surgery, we were able to affirm what we've always known...that we love and respect one another deeply and have been blessed to share in our unique and special father/daughter relationship, no matter how the next hours or days would unfold. He was never fully conscious again. He was able to shake his head to hearing my voice and his final words to me were, “Let me go.” Hard as it was, as usual, Coach Moon had made his final wishes clear and I knew I needed to honor that.

In the aftermath of his death, I have realized that while he was giving living without my mom Rose Ann a fighting chance, he wasn't enjoying it at all. He was committed to gutting it out but there was a deep loneliness that he could not escape. Understanding that he lived 55 years with his soul mate, it is not that surprising that he could not endure even 1 year without her. My parents love for one another, their bond in life, their shared faith in Christ, their partnership has sustained me as I have had to cope with losing both of them in less than a year's time. Two recent conversations about my parents have left a deep impression on me...I was speaking with woman who has a very troubled relationship with her mom and when asking what it's been like for her she said, “Well Jodi, you know, not everyone has parents like you do.” And another dear friend said to me in the aftermath of dad's passing, “Jodi, you know, you really hit the parent jackpot.” I'm not sure I ever fully grasped how unique it was for me to have such amazing parents. I guess because it's what I grew up with, I assumed that most everyone experienced something similar. As difficult as these years have been through Bill's death 8 years ago, my mom's 7 year fight with cancer and now my dad's passing, the gift in all of those difficulties has been my ability to see how deeply loved and respected my folks really are. I am continually blown away by the number of people who consistently relay to me that my father was the single most influential person in their lives. It is a testament to that to see guys from our football family gathered here who first met Ted more than 40 years ago. There is no one in my past who I feel even remotely that connected to and it brings me great comfort to know what a special history both Ted and Rose Ann shared with so many people.

As close as dad and I were, we did not always see eye to eye. Most notable was the Title IX Education amendment passed into law in 1972. I was 11. Title IX is best known for breaking down barriers in sports for women and girls. At the time, most men were opposed to the amendment and there were no stronger opponents than one Coach Moon Mullen. I would guess that at least 3 times a week throughout high school, my dad and I went at it over this amendment around the dinner table. There were times when my mom finally had to shout, “Enough you two. We're sick of this argument.” Oh how my blood would boil when he would claim that equality for women would only hurt his football program...too bad he didn't realize that better sports for women could have actually led to a college scholarship for his daughter! But in those days, anything that hurt his football program was to be soundly shot down. He could not have been surprised however by my voracious counter attacks as he was the one who taught me how to stand my ground, formulate an opinion and go after what I thought was right. So in the end, he only had himself to blame for my strong opinions even though I didn't always share his perspective. As life continued to unfold, and as my views deviated from his on more than one occasion, several of his friends used to ask him how he tolerated my politics (yes, I'm a left leaning liberal...I live in Sweden for goodness sake!) and his answer was always gracious and generous. He'd say, “hmmmm, let's see...Jodi is passionate, engaged, smart, articulate and a free thinker...remind me what I'm supposed to be upset about regarding those qualities?” He always understood that character was the most important quality, not a particular point of view and truth be told, Ted also possessed a pretty generous bleeding heart at times! He was like an M&M...hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

For the most part I genuinely enjoyed going to the same high school where he taught and coached. I would say the only awkward part about that was when it came to dating. I remember early on in my first year at his school, I was sitting on the school benches before school started talking to a boy who I was beginning to like a little and it seemed that the feeling was mutual. I needed money (a great reason to have your dad at your school) for lunch so I said, “Well, I gotta run. I need to catch my dad before school starts.” And my friend says to me, “Uh, why is your dad on campus this early.” And I thought, “uh-oh. He hasn't made the connection yet.” So with fear and trepidation I said, “My dad is Coach Mullen.” Fortunately he was only a sophomore so not yet interacting with Moon on the football field. Another memorable moment came when I was a Jr. and had foolishly decided to date another football player. This relationship ended during the football season. I was pretty bummed about it and through the tears of a jilted 16 year old, told my dad that this boy had broken up with me. And in Ted's sensitive and caring manner, his only comment was, “Well, I hope this doesn't screw up his concentration for the game tomorrow.” Seriously dad? Even my mom thought that was a bit much! After that, I gave up dating boys from Villa Park and ended up dating a track guy from Orange High School.

Another one of Ted's pet peeves was his beloved practice field and in particular, the evils of playing soccer on his precious field. I always knew that he felt soccer was a communist plot to overtake the world but I found something in Ted's file recently that just cracked me up. Back in 1978 he wrote a letter to several school administrators that said the following: “It has come to my attention that Villa Park will be required to field a team in Soccer which will be competing on the CIF level of competition. I believe that this activity (note: not sport) should be started on a club level initially, to better determine the capabilities and true interest in this activity.” Gee dad, it's too bad that the activity called soccer never has caught on! I suppose this makes it even more ironic that I ended up marrying a soccer player from Minnesota! But to Ted's credit, between my husband's influence and his Latino friends, he did manage to start watching Soccer during the World Cup but he never could fully adjust to the lack of scoring and wins determined by shoot out!

A brief word about my dear husband Doug is in order. Doug slid seamlessly into our family almost 20 years go and was dearly loved by my parents in spite of his love for The Minnesota Twins and Vikings. My dad often said how grateful he was that Doug was my husband and how much fun it was to have him as his son-in-law. He especially appreciated that Doug never came across as someone who took himself overly serious and genuinely cared about other people. We quickly developed the habit of engaging in a Cribbage derby every time we were together with my folks. Of course, the bringing together of 4 fiercely competitive people created quite an atmosphere of fun and engagement and even though they beat us most all the time, we will greatly miss gathering around the table to play cards with them. Doug has been a faithful companion to me through these years of family stress. While we love our life in Sweden, living overseas has definitely created some challenges when it comes to being nearby loved ones when crises emerge. Doug never hesitated in helping me make travel arrangements, re-arrange my schedule and get to California as fast I could whenever I felt like I needed to. Because we work together, my departure meant a doubling of Doug's workload both at home and at church. But he always embraced these challenges with ease and always understood when I needed to be near my parents. He loved my mom and dad and that is apparent through the ways in which he so beautifully loves me. I'm so thankful for him in my life, especially now since my family of origin is no longer part of this world. I could not have faced the magnitude of losing Ted at this time had it not been for his unwavering love and support.

We know that those of us gathered here today really loved Ted and while we all know and must accept that his time had come, his passing leaves a huge void in our lives. Dad and I have always been pretty close but the years since Bill's death and our journey together through my mom's illness really sealed the deal between us. We just understood one another and were able to be totally frank with one another while giving expression to the deep love and respect we had for one another. What I saw emerge in dad in these past years was a desire to give back to mom all that she had given him. Gone was the early chauvinism and selfish concern for what he wanted and instead a spirit of total generosity and care prevailed. We all know that he cared for mom in remarkable ways and he was also so clearly proud and supportive of me, often taking time to write a note of appreciation or admiration, always signing it, love always, dad. Always the teacher, I would like to highlight some of the lessons I most deeply treasure having learned from dad. First, be competitive but be a good sport. I love having a competitive spirit and I am so grateful for the love of sport my folks have passed onto me. When I am playing golf or tennis I feel their presence surrounding me as they were my teachers in these games. I love the thrill of winning but equally important I love that dad taught me that the win is even sweeter when we can be gracious and humble in victory, but also in defeat. Second, be generous. My folks never had much money but that never stopped them from giving generously to others. When I first started getting a dollar for allowance, dad gave me 10 dimes. He had three envelopes and he'd say, one dime goes in savings. One dime goes to the church. And you get to spend 8 dimes however you'd like. And he practiced this principle of giving throughout his whole life. He loaned people money knowing that it was more of a gift than a loan. He was quick to buy lunch for someone, take another out for a milk shake, and gave to countless ministries. It was never the amount that mattered, but the faithful, consistent, generous support of others that is his legacy. Third, while he was a champion, he taught me to love the underdog. His care and concern for those with less in life has always been evident. He loved mentoring young men who lacked a strong role model in their lives. He has taken many a young man under his wing to help him get started or get straightened out in life. He has fought for the rights of those he feels have been mistreated and he has done it out of his concern for showing others his love and compassion. He always knew there was no one too small to merit attention and care. Finally, he taught me to laugh and to enjoy life. His sense of humor is legendary and we just loved sharing a good joke with one another. He was such a fun father...fishing, camping, playing cards, going to Disneyland and Angel games, sharing a joke, laughing at a film. We shared it all and I will miss him. I will miss calling him to commiserate about a sporting event, Skyping with him when he got up during my afternoon, having him as my anchor back here in the US. I will miss him so very much.

It is still a little surreal for me to understand that dad is no longer with us. He was truly a giant of a man with the heart of a giant. He so selflessly made himself available to us as we established our own home in the desert a few years back and never ceased to express his love and admiration for our work and our lives. He was so generous toward us, with his time, his money and his love. I have to figure out how to live in a world without Ted as do all of the rest of you. The only solace I have in this thought is that Ted no longer has to live in a world without Rose Ann and I know that that is the greatest gift we can give him now. They are now re-united, alongside of Jesus, the one they both served so faithfully in their life. Dad's legacy will live on in our lives if we embrace the challenges in life with the same vigor that he did, if we exhibit a generosity of spirit with those less fortunate in life, and love well those who are entrusted to us. He loved me well, he loved you well. Let's all strive to love one another a little more well.

My only regret in life is that I was never privileged to play for a coach like Moon or be a part of a championship team. But I feel no greater joy than that of having been his daughter, living the day in day out with him, knowing that I was special, seeing how he loved me, enjoying his presence in my life in every possible way. Dad was a true champion, a man who carried within him a deep and quiet faith, and exhibited integrity in everything he did. While many here today think of Ted as a father-figure, I am the lucky one who knew him as dad...my dad, the loving, generous, giving, caring, funny and protective daddy that we all long for in this world. For that I am deeply grateful.

Coach and Mrs. Moon are back together...may their legacy continue through the things we have learned from them. Peace to their memory, until we see them once again. Amen.

Many laughs were shared at the references to the Masters and Title IX, especially by those who know us so well.

Afterwards the women of the church provided a lovely lunch spread and because dad loved candy so much, we put out bowls of Hershey miniatures...Mr. Goodbar was his favorite. During the reception we had an open sharing time during which several players, one of the coaches and folks from the church where I grew up shared stories and spoke of the impact that Ted had had on them. Doug also shared some beautiful words about him, my family and our marriage. We are blessed to have one another. There are countless stories of Ted and I hope to share several of them over the course the coming weeks. He was kind of a larger than life character, that's for sure.

I was really happy with the day and touched and moved by seeing old friends once again. The sobering reality for me is that this may be the last time I see several of these folk. Because we live in Sweden, I won't be around for other life events that may occur that I would want to attend. So the reunions that family deaths and football gatherings have provided for us will no longer take place. In spite of the sadness that this creates in my spirit, I am also so thankful for the incredibly rich life that my parents have provided for me. That they were so loved assures me that I am deeply loved. Our pasts mean something to us and I suppose it is not surprising that in my parent's death, I have a renewed interest in our family history. I have files to go through and letters to read and I look forward to the joy and laughter that I will experience as I gain more and more insight into my father's illustrative career.

So today, the day after my dad's memorial service, I am grateful. I am sad. I am at peace. I am blessed. Thank you God, for welcoming my dad into your kingdom with open arms and for reuniting my folks in paradise. Thank you for my husband here on earth, with whom I hope to have many, many more years, before we join the faithful alongside of you in our eternal home. 

Today is Palm Sunday. Holy Week unfolds. The death of Christ and his resurrection will likely never again be so meaningful for me. 

And so to you all who read this blog and have followed the Caring Bridge, I say thank you. God bless and keep you as well as you continue on the journey of grief and healing on the road ahead.