Cruisin' the Baltic: Tallin, Estonia

Our first port stop was Tallin, Estonia.  We had been here twice before but only in the dead of winter and quite a different city greeted us in the spring time!  The port had changed dramatically and now passengers on the cruise ships disembarked just a short walk from the center of the Old Town. 
Tallin is a grand old walled city with beautiful view points and charming building squares.  We so enjoyed wandering around the cobble stone streets, taking in the Orthodox Cathedral and many other churches that dot this town, and seeing how much progress Tallin has made in the last several years.  The city itself was immaculate, even cleaner than Stockholm which is saying something.  It was a quiet day in the old town except there was a special happening in the old town square so a big stage was set up to accomodate different musical performances.  English is widely spoken and they now use the Euro as currency.  We had 52 Estonian crowns in our pocket from a previous visit and I was surprised to learn that they could not be spent.  But since the switchover had only happened about a month ago,  could turn them in at a currency exchange.  I was happy to walk away with my 2.5 euros!  
We had some time in the afternoon so jumped on a tram out to a lovely little town called Kadriorg.  Peter the Great built a nice little retreat for his wife Catherine, just a modest little palace where they could retire from the busy city life!   The manicured gardens were between full bloom but even so, you could see the care and beauty that went into these grounds.  I was surprised that the tulips and daffodils were still in full bloom.  Takes a long time for these "spring" flowers to find their way to daylight up north!  Eventually we found our way back on board ready to enjoy another night winding our way down the Baltic.  Our day in Tallin itself could not have been more perfect.  Tallin is a beautiful stop on the Baltic sea.

Cruisin' the Baltic: The Ship

Groupon ran a special deal on a 4 night cruise aboard a Russian Ferry that leaves from Stockholm called The St. Peter Line.  We had been interested in giving this little adventure a try so we jumped at the chance.  The ship was old and small, our room measuring a cozy 9 meters square!  But if you made efficient use of every space, you could actually get quite comfortable!  The entertainment on board featured high quality Russian dancers who were delightful to watch night after night, a decent saxophone player and an absolutely miserable singer!  We were duly entertained on board!  The evening buffet proudly served Russian delights and for fish lovers, it was a great spread.  Given that we aren't big fans of herring, mackeral, gravad lax, or smoked fish, we ate salad and bread and cheese!  I did however try both types of caviar and even liked the black one and had it again!The main courses were generally OK, with beef stroganoff being the signature dish which was served twice and very good.  Of course, vodka and caviar were served at every meal!  The views of the sea as we dined were delightful and all in all, we enjoyed the opportunity to visit Estonia, Russia, and Finland in such a short amount of time.

The Complicated Emotions of Mother's Day

Today many of us feel thankful for our mothers and mothers-in-law and other women who have cared for us like mothers during certain seasons of our lives when we needed the love, care and guidance of an entire neighborhood. For these strong and loving women, it is an undeniable fact that they have shaped us in ways that humble and strengthen us and to not be thankful for them on this day would be a complete misstep.

But without wanting to rain on the parade of celebrating motherhood, I also approach this day with caution. I am mindful of the folks in this world for whom mother was not a warm, caring presence. Abuse and neglect have shaped their relationship with their mom and thus the expected cultural norms of thanking them with a card or flowers or a gift only creates conflict or guilt. I am mindful of those who have lost their mother to death and the grief that rises up out of nowhere when on Mother's Day, the longing for the presence of their beloved mother is acute. I am also aware, in a very personal manner, of the mothers in our world who have lost children and the grief that bites afresh when they consider that one fewer of their children will be around today to wish them well. And of course, I become more deeply aware of my own (and others who have experienced infertility) barren status that mother's day lifts up year after year.

What's hard about raising these issues is that for mothers, I understand that it can feel a bit like, 'why do you have to talk about this on our day? It's kind of a kill-joy.' And of course, I struggle with that too, balancing a thankfulness for my mom, mother-in-law, and other beautiful women in my life who have “mothered” me over the years with my own sense of failure, isolation and loneliness in not being a mother. I feel outside of the conversation, clearly not a member of a society whose subtle chant can sometimes be, “Being a mother is the greatest thing that can ever happen to a woman.” Ouch. Just another reminder that through no fault of my own, I was not able to experience the greatest thing that can happen to a woman. And so perhaps by sharing these feelings on Mother's Day, in some weird way it at least helps me feel a little bit more a part of the sisterhood of women even if I don't know the inside scoop on being a mom.

So, please don't think that I begrudge the handmade cards, the beautiful flower bouquets, or the nice brunches out that many moms will experience. But perhaps, in a private moment of savoring the joy you experience as a woman, you could raise a silent yet heartfelt toast to those of us in the world for whom this day is filled with loss and longing. Yes, those of us without children are a little bit jealous of those of you with children but if you can forgive us this sin just for today, it would somehow help us not feel so quite on the outside of what surely must be a wonderful gift to experience.

And if for some reason, you yourself are a mom, and you are feeling disappointed by your children today, just know that for many others, today is a day of mixed emotions for many in our world.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.

Peace and grace day to all you non-moms out there.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today we are celebrating my mom's 82nd birthday!  This one feels pretty special because it was 5 years ago to the day that we got word that she had ovarian cancer.  It is a miracle and a joy that she is still with us to celebrate one more year!  I am humbled and awed and feel really blessed.  She has fought hard and overcome many moments when we thought that death had her in its grip.  I admire her courage, heading back into chemotherapy this winter, after enjoying a season of remission.  It was tough.  She was sick, lost her hair, suffered from having no energy or zest for life and yet, when the results came back that the treatment was effective, she chose to continue on even though it made her feel so crummy.  Now, the numbers are very low again on her cancer markers and we are hopeful that even without more treatment, she will be able to sustain a high quality of life and enjoy many more years of life.  We are taking it a day at a time while seeking to be ever grateful for each moment we do receive.

This is a really old picture but mom looks pretty much the same and I love it!

I wish I could be home on days like today but at least I am headed out to California in a few short weeks.  Then we'll celebrate life together, ever grateful for all the days that God gives us to enjoy.

My mom is a special woman.  She has a joy that emanates from within, a real love of others and of God that is so clear from the first moment you meet her.  Most people who have known my mom think of her as a fun-loving, people-loving, God-loving gal.  And she really is all that.  She embraces people no matter their background.  She acts silly no matter her age.  She loves a good laugh.  She's a good sport and a great athlete.  You gotta love it when growing up, kids would knock on our door to see if my brother and I could come out and play baseball in the street.  Then inevitably, the kid at the door would say, "Can your mom play?  If so, we get her."  She was the first pick on every team.  If only I had half of her athletic ability...I could've been a star!  For sure, if she'd lived in this era, with her skill, she could've been a pro golfer or an Olympic softball player.  I love that about her.  If you've ever met either one of my parents, it is not so hard to see where I get my competitive instinct!

Anyway...it's a pleasure to think about my mom today.  It's such a gift that she's still with us.  Mom, today and every day I celebrate you!  Thanks for being who you are in this world.  You mean the world to so many people, not the least of whom is me.  I love you!

Canterbury

I could not stop thinking about Pillars of the Earth while at Canterbury.  Canterbury is a charming town with a towering cathedral and the murder of Thomas Beckett all a part of its history.  What's there not to love about this amazing place?  The weather abated long enough to enjoy a walk along this beautiful river before we headed for our tour of the Cathedral.  The views were oh so lovely and the gardens oh so English!  It was a delightful way to pass the time.
The town itself had a lot of charm as well.  I laughed when I saw this theater banner!  Seemed a good and right description!  I was charmed by the looks of this pub even though I did not have time to go inside. 
The Cathedral tour was fantastic.  Our guide, Ursula, was simply fabulous, finding the right balance between good information and just enough.  It was very interesting to hear more about the murder of Thomas Beckett as I had forgotten this little bit of church history.

This is where Beckett was murdered.

 It was also confirmed that Henry the VIII was not a good man.

That's Henry in the middle.

The Cathedral is one of my favorites in all of Europe.  It is just so lovely.  The stained glass was removed for protection during WWII.  The windows tell a great story if you know how to read them.  Check out this pulpit.  What fun to preach from that perch!  How could a place made of stone and granite be described as delicate?  The work of the architects and builders made the stone soft and the gothic arches were simply sublime.  I took a million photos and cannot post them all here but I am going to let this gorgeous place speak for itself.  

I loved being in Canterbury.  A former tennis buddy lived here for years and it was so delightful to think of her all the day long.

Another Day, Another Cathedral, Another Pub

Day 2 started with loads of rain and the city awash with umbrellas!  Our group engaged in a great conversation about Youth Ministry, Labib shared more challenging thoughts from his life and experiences and we took a wonderful visit to St. Paul's Cathedral.  I had been here before for worship services but had never climbed the dome so this was my chance.  It's a long way up, with narrow stairways winding around and around but it is well worth it!  There is also a no photo rule in St. Paul's but this time I cheated a bit and took this wonderful shot from the whispering gallery.  Doug and Chris are actually slightly visible on the floor if you know where to look!   They are on the right side, in the front row of the chairs that are set back from the circle.
I finally made it to the top and popped out high above the city of London.  It was a gray, rainy, gloomy day but it was still a thrill to see the city sprawling out before me.  I have to admit that I thought of Peter Pan flying across London with Wendy, John and Michael in tow!  And of course, as I was walking down the cathedral's outdoor steps, I couldn't help but hum Feed the Birds and think of Jane and Michael Banks' visit to The City with their banker father in Mary Poppins!
The rain abated enough for us to find the wonderful Blackfriars pub so we popped in for a drink and a chat with our friends from Brussels and Kenya.  Watching the pub fill with locals as the work day came to a close was enjoyable.  The metal friezes on the walls depicting scenes from a monk's life were truly lovely.  A beautifully prepared meal awaited us upon our return to church.  
Another amazing day, filled with rich conversations and wonderful sights and sounds was coming to a close.

London Day 1

I somehow have to get caught up on our trip to London so I figured I'd get started tonight!  The reason we went to London was to attend a conference of International Pastors serving in Europe, the Middle East and Kenya.  It is a great tradition, an encouraging time and always filled with amazing conversations and experiences.  We were not disappointed.
Day 1 started with with a wonderful conversation with the Director of the Palestinian Bible Society, Labib Madanat who challenged our notion of how we define neighbor and encouraged us to see all humans as neighbor rather than enemy.  Coming from an Arab Christian seeking to live out the gospel in the midst of the Palestine-Israel conflict, his message was very compelling.  The afternoon was filled with delights of London.  
We popped up from the Enbankment tube station and took a stroll along the Thames.  This spot is where I get that "WOW, I'm in London!" feeling every single time I'm there!  It's just a big thrill.  Loved seeing the British police.  Happy to not have a real encounter with them!
Our walk took us alongside a lovely garden that housed a statue of William Tyndale, the first man to translate the Greek New Testament into English.  Wonderful to stumble upon this monument.
We landed at Westminster Abbey where this delightful priest greeted us and welcomed us to The Abbey. (That's John D'Elia next to him, the pastor at the American Church in London, our host and good friend.)  We were privileged to enjoy the audio tour and I loved roaming around this grand cathedral once again.  
I loved standing near the very spot where William and Kate, almost a year ago to the day, pledged thee their troth to one another.  I'm still trying to figure out how to weave that line into a wedding where I am officiating!  We got to enter the secret place where only special visitors with special permission get to enter: Edward the 3rd's grave.  The chapel of Henry the 7th is, quite frankly, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.  No photos were allowed and I respected this rule even though I was sorely tempted on many occasions to sneak a photo or two!  I loved wandering around Poet's corner once again, seeing the names of authors who I love and admire on the grave stones.  I was especially touched by the memorials of Shakespeare and Handel.  I just loved being there.
We ended our time by enjoying Evensong in the Abbey.  The lovely voices of the young boys combined with the rich sounds of the adult male choir is just heavenly.  It was so spiritually uplifting and sublime.  One of the young boy singers hiccuped in the middle of a song and got the giggles.  This playful bit of humanity just enhanced the experience for me.  There was a small row of about 6 very little boys who simply marched in in their little red robes, sat through Evensong and then marched out.  I suppose they are cherubs in training and the first lesson is sitting still!  
When we got out of the service, the evening light was gorgeous.  We jumped on a double decker red bus that took us through all of London's main highlights and enjoyed a wonderful stop at a pub with our good friends from the Frankfurt church.  I loved this pub sign...only in London would the Ale be blessed by the Sabbath, I suppose.