Day 12: Trying to...Fear Not

The most oft repeated command in scripture is Fear Not. Many an angel have uttered those words to frightened people.  The reason it was so often repeated is because people were scared.  And yet I do love the sentiment that God enters our fears with us and tells us to be not afraid because His is with us in all things.
These funky little angels that adorn my house each Christmas seemed appropriate for today's post for a number of reasons.  My mom made them back in 1966 and I grew up with them around the house.  I have always loved the fancy hairdos that these angels sport, probably because I had short, pixie cut hair when I was little and perhaps dreamed of a day when I could have a cool flip, or pony tails like these girls!  Anyway...I took them from my mom's house several years ago and just love putting them out every year.  Today they represent to me the angels who cry out, "Fear Not".  Just now, there is a new reason to feel a little fearful.  My mom has been fighting (valiantly) cancer for the past 4.5 years.  She's had times when she has been very, very sick and we thought that we would lose her.  But we have not and for the past year or so, she has been in remarkably good health and even had periods of time when there was no trace of cancer in her system at all.  Sadly, those days have shifted again and the latest news is that the cancer is back in her body, showing its ugly face once again so she will once again begin chemotherapy on Monday.  The Dr. feels that he will know a lot within 6 weeks so we shall see.
The thing of it is that neither my dad, my mom nor I fear death in and of itself.  My mom is a faithful saint who will surely be met at heaven's door with a "well done my good and faithful servant."  Hundreds of people have been touched by her caring presence in their lives.  In fact, when my mom asked why she still feels and looks so good even though the cancer is active, her Dr. said, "It's because you are filled with the Holy Spirit."  So it's not death itself that creates angst for us.  For me, I feel sad that she may lose quality of life again.  I hope she won't be as sick as she was in the past while on chemo.  I hope and pray that the medicine will be the healing agent that she needs right now.  We don't know any of this today.  The words of Great is Thy Faithfulness ring in my ears...strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Great is God's faithfulness unto us.  I believe that with all my heart and entrust my mom's journey to God's care.
These are the days when the distance that separates me from my parents feels long and complicated.  I want to be home with them and yet my advent journey is unfolding here in Stockholm for now.  I am grateful for my church family, my friends and my loving husband who join me on this journey.  And I will listen with bended ear for the joyful chorus of the angels that surround me saying, "Fear Not, for I bring you good news of great joy, that today in the city of David is born a Savior."  A savior who draws close, brings comfort and peace and healing.  I trust that today and every day and find that my fears rest just a bit easier.  May you also find rest from whatever it is that is stirring up fear.

Doug's Sisters

I don't often write about personal family stuff on my blog but I'm feeling the need to give an update about what's going on with Doug's family.  As many of you may know, Doug's oldest sister, Debbie, was diagnosed about a year and half ago with lung cancer.  Deb is a non-smoking, reasonably healthy individual and this was shocking and shattering news.  She has put up a valiant fight throughout these months enduring chemo, radiation, and severe side affects that have limited among other things, her ability to eat and enjoy food.  Deb is one of those people in life who is immediately likeable and generosity oozes from her being.  She spent her life teaching middle school kids and through the years I have met so many people who had her as a teacher who just cannot say enough about what  terrific teacher she was and what an amazing person she is.
His youngest sister Jan, fought off breast cancer several years ago but has had some incidences of recurrence in the years following.  She too has aggressively fought off this terrible disease with great resolve and steady strength.  Jan is one of the most remarkable people I've ever met, also generous to a fault, fighting for the underdog in her work and in her life, smart, protective, pro-active, funny and loving.
Today Jan is undergoing a procedure to eradicate a new spot that has emerged on her liver.  We are hopeful for a good outcome, but it's a somewhat tough procedure that will cause pain and discomfort for a bit.  She will take some time off work to recover, spend time with her own immediate family and also journey closely beside Deb.

Deb delivering a beautiful speech at her mom's 80th birthday party last February

Deb recently learned that lesions have appeared on her brain and the discovery of a tumor on her hip helped discern the source of some incredible pain she's been enduring.  Over the past weekend it was discovered that Deb was disoriented and so she went into the hospital for further testing.  Tests have revealed that the brain is swelling so yesterday she began a series of brain radiation treatments as well as treatment for the hip tumor.  The blessing of the hospital stay has been their ability to help manage the pain she's had for a long time.  Deb is not too forthcoming about her condition as she is so trained to put others first.  A good plan seems to be shaping up for her continued treatment schedule.  Deb is single and at this time cannot live alone.  A good plan is unfolding for where she can be so that she can get the support she needs.
Obviously this is an extremely hard time in our lives.  Living overseas during these critical moments of family crisis is the hardest thing about our life.  We are praying for discernment and wisdom about traveling to the US, especially for Doug.  Your thoughts and prayers are a welcome gift as we firmly believe that God's presence will sustain every one of us through this dark valley.
It's very hard to understand why so much health hardship has fallen on Doug's family over the past year or so.  We pray for healing, we pray for peace, we pray for comfort in the midst of incredible pain, loss and sorrow.  If you feel you can join us in these prayers, we would be eternally grateful.