2016 in the Rear View Mirror

December 31, 2016. First time ringing in the new year on US soil since 1998. A little strange to be on the tail end of the time zones. Woke up to a photo of a friend in Sydney, Australia with fireworks going off. 2017 has begun in some parts of our world! As I write, I'm thinking of my friends in Stockholm and wishing them a happy new year. At 4.00pm it'll be London's turn. We're thinking about celebrating the new year with New Yorkers at 9.00pm and allowing ourselves to sleep through the first moments of the new year here in CA. Whatever way you are celebrating, I hope it's safe and joyous. 2016 has been a year of challenge and change. Here's my review of it all.
Our year began beautifully with a wonderful trip to the Amalfi Coast. Our base was Sorrento and while the weather wasn't quite as warm as we had hoped, we still had a great week soaking in the Italian way of life and eating! Highlights included the beautiful Epiphany celebration on January 6 in which the entire town took part, amazing food and gelato, a side trip to Pompeii and views of the sea that were truly breathtaking.

We continued our interim ministry in London and enjoyed the people in the church and the fun in the city. We managed to see more than 20 shows while there and took a wander through several of the great museums. We enjoyed side trips to Hastings and Rye on the southern coast, Salisbury and Stonehenge, the Cotswolds and Stratford-upon-Avon, Windsor and enjoyed a fun adventure in a canal boat with dear friends from Sweden that included a super fun day in Bath. I had the honor of speaking in Paris, France for the women of the American Church in Paris. Doug joined me for a couple of days after the retreat. Days in Paris do not disappoint.

I joined a women's running group and my huge accomplishment in 2016 was running a half marathon in Nice, France. It was an incredibly special journey taken with a group of women who were also new to running and it remains a favorite highlight of our year in London. I finally checked my spring trip to the Netherlands off my bucket list, saw the Keukenhof gardens with tulips and other flowers displayed in all their glory, visited the Corrie Ten Boom house in Haarlem, and visited the city of Delft. The fact that it was all shared with a dear Dutch family who we met our first year at Immanuel made it all the more special. It was a memorable trip to say the least.
We were privileged to attend one last International pastors conference in Geneva, Switzerland. We couldn't believe our luck that after 16 wonderful conferences with this group of colleagues, our 17th would be in a place we had never been. It was one of the very best we had attended in all the years that we gathered. The speaker and his wife touched our lives very deeply, the sights of Geneva were a real treat and a couple of days in the Alps topped it all off. It was a fabulous week with dear friends who we will miss being with in the years to come.
Soon it was time to leave London in the capable hands of their new pastor and return to our home in Desert Hot Springs. What joy to return to a finished house instead of jumping right into a renovation. The summer heat did melt us at times, but we still found time to golf a lot, work on the landscaping and sort through box after box that had been in the garage. It has really been a treat to settle into a home that is ours and not feel like we are just passing through. We really do love living here in the desert and are content to be here until a new challenge beckons us.
Unfortunately, 2016 has been a year of significant loss once again. We lost Doug's father last March. He had been declining significantly so it was not a big surprise, but even so, it's always such a shift in life when a parent passes. The other major loss of the year involved our beloved Tanner's passing last August. He had a very rough year in London, with one problem after another emerging. His immune system was compromised for some reason and he just couldn't get well. Tried as did, nothing got him back to full health and eventually it became clear that he was not going to get better. It was a very devastating time for us because he had been such a huge part of our lives, living in Sweden with us, moving back to the US, moving to the UK and finally moving back to the US with us. We had so hoped that he would be able to enjoy life in desert with us, but alas, he crossed the rainbow bridge instead. We still miss him every day and wonder when a new canine companion will come into view.
Of course, our first election back in the US in 20 years was rife with tension for us and we are still trying to get our hands around the new President. I'm deeply saddened by the reality of our country and can only hope and pray that our reputation abroad will not totally disintegrate and that the most vulnerable in our nation will not suffer too badly. The only thing that is certain is that this is a time of great uncertainty. The world continues to groan under the weight of global issues. We definitely need a lot of kindness and grace to see us through.
I recently became the recipient of a pastoral study grant that will allow me to return to Europe for a period of time to do some study around the topic of how the church can be a place of welcome to immigrants. The International churches in Europe have something to teach the US in this regard and I'm thankful that I've been given an opportunity to study this and write about.
The end of the year has been highlighted by visits from loved ones. Doug's mom and sister came for Thanksgiving and we loved having them here. A family from London spent a day and night with us, a friend from Sweden spent a day and night from us, and another family from London, with whom we spent New Year's Eve last year, are here in the desert with us this year. It's such a joy to renew these deep relationships with friends and family we treasure so much.
2017 is a year of uncertainty but not in all ways bad. Life is very different during this sabbatical time away from ministry but we are thankful for the time we have been given to rest and reflect until God reveals his next steps for us.
We really love being here and are not missing winter at all. We continue to enjoy the golf, hope to play a bit more tennis in the future and continue to adjust to a desert state of mind. It's really not all that hard.
In the midst of whatever challenge and joy surrounds you, my prayer for you and for me is that we will grow, deepen and strengthen our love for others and for God. Our world is a place that needs more grace and understanding and my faith beckons me to pursue that in whatever small ways I can. I hope the same will be true for you. My hope remains in that which is unseen, the hope that the light of Christ will shine brightly, the assurance that the darkness will not overcome it.
May there be loads of light in your new year. Thanks for reading. It's time to say good bye to 2016.

The End of 2014

And I thought 2013 was hard year!
On New Year's Day 2014 I wrote this on my blog: 
What will 2014 bring?  We do not know the answer to that question right now...but I'm confident that joy and sorrow will meet and that love will cover all things. 
Truer words could not have been written as the year now comes to an end. When 2013 ended, I was glad to turn the page on a new year. My mom's death had been so tough and I was looking forward to a new year without the stress of her declining health. Of course, who knew that just 4 months into this year my dad's health would take a fatal turn and we would lose him as well.  Those were difficult days provoking the deepest grief I have ever experienced. And while the searing pain of his passing has subsided, I do miss him every single day and wish he were still among us. But that is not to be and so I continue to find ways to cherish the memories of my very fine parents and savor the good times we did indeed share.
And who knew that 2014 would mark the end of 16.5 years of ministry at Immanuel International? Certainly not us. But now, we've preached our last message, (listen here if interested), cleaned out our offices, and have ended our pastoral responsibilities.

We are soon taking one last bucket list trip to Morocco and then will sort out our apartment in preparation for our flight to Los Angeles on January 29, 2015. We are looking forward to life in the desert and seeing what adventure awaits us!
While change and loss are marks of this year, love and joy have certainly played a huge role as well. I don't look back on 2014 with negative feelings but rather feel a unique depth of meaning in the events that have unfolded. All of the change has been totally unexpected and yet, through it all, we've felt loved, supported, surrounded and peaceful. Of course, not every day has been marked by these emotions...anger, disappointment, frustration and anxiety have played a role as well and yet...we are feeling at peace with the road ahead. Saying good-bye to our church and life here is very painful and filled with the deepest kind of emotion and yet...we anticipate the future with great excitement and wonder as well. 
One of the great joys of these last weeks has been time spent with dear friends who love us! We've been to so many different gatherings with such a broad range of people that we are just savoring these moments. Here's a glimpse of some of the ways we've been enjoying our loved ones here in Stockholm:

The wonderful Filipino community and a few others at Immanuel!

My dear Swiss friend Madeleine...gorgeous afternoon.

These photos are small representations of the depth and breadth of relationship and friendship that has been ours to treasure all of these years. We will miss meeting people from all walks of life and having our lives enriched by these encounters. But these relationships are deeply buried into the tapestry of our lives and will not quickly fade. 

The Downey kids...the wonderful family we have spent Christmas Eve with for several years now.

Lalit and Sujata Kumar...our Indian brother and sister!

The Bhat boys and Ellie! We've known these boys for a long time
and have confirmed them both!

These kids are among the hundreds of kids that we've enjoyed through the years at Immanuel. We spent this day remembering all of the crazy times we've shared, especially during the summer with our Wacky Wednesday programs! What joy to have youth in our lives! We look forward to the ways in which we will get involved in kids lives in the future.

Terri Bhat along with Georgie and Gaby Carlson, who we love like our own!

Fabulous Swedish coffee mug from the Carlson girls.

The richness of being part of a diverse community is a gift that we wish all could experience.

We shared a beautiful afternoon with the Eritrean community from Immanue and walked away with these gorgeous gifts of traditional dress.

To cross lines that are usually seen as barriers and then to see what joy there is in being with those who are different than you is one of the greatest gifts we take from our years here at Immanuel. It's hard to say good-bye but we are also grateful for all the years we were given. Who would've thunk that when we signed that 3 year contract in April of 1998 that it would be the end of 2014 when we finally said good-bye? Certainly not me.
Now we have a new year to look forward to...one that is an absolute mystery to us! I am looking forward to living in California again for the first time since 1989. I'm thrilled that Doug is happy to be a California transplant and while we'll miss the joy and ease of traveling in Europe, we do look forward to tasting our home culture once again and visiting the vast landscape that the USA offers. It will be quite interesting to experience what it's like to return to the USA after all these years of living abroad. I'm confident that there will be moments of relief and joy mixed in with moments of loss and feelings of being completely overwhelmed. I anticipate feeling quite at home in some ways and like a complete stranger in others. I know that our years of living in Sweden have shaped us in ways that we can't yet give expression to and yet...I'm grateful for it all...the hard times, the good times, the times of laughter and the times filled with tears. Isn't that what living life is all about anyway? Opening ourselves up to the full range of emotions and experiences that God intends for us.
So, as we end 2014 and prepare to celebrate our final New Year's in Stockholm...we wish all of our loved ones, both near and afar, a great start to a new year. May your year be filled with love and peace, no matter what may unfold.  2014 has certainly been full of both for us.

New Year's Eve 2010

The sun is setting on the last day of 2010.  I feel content.  The year that has gone has been a special year for us with incredible travel experiences, time to nurture our marriage in a variety of ways and the love and warmth of our home, dog and church here in Stockholm.  We have no big plans for tonight as most of our friends are out of town and Doug's leg is still on the tender side.  He has begun to walk without the cast and we're hoping to see progress each day, but it's slow.  We'll cook dinner at home, enjoy an early drink with some friends and likely wander out to the streets to watch the multitude of fireworks being blown off.  Tanner hates this night so we'll snuggle him up in his crate, pack towels around him to try to muffle the explosions and hope that he doesn't completely freak out from the noise.

I recently went back through this blog to view what I found worthy of writing about.  It was great fun for me to review the photos, spark the memories and consider some of more thoughtful things that I wrote about.  There were so many amazing things that unfolded in our life this year, I just feel filled with joy and peace today.

Books always play such a large role in my life and so I'd like to share with you the books that I feel should really be read!  My favorite read from the year was Little Bee.  Thoughtful, provocative, stirring, this story of a Nigerian refugee trying to make it in England tears at your heart and causes you to consider how we could make life easier for people who are seeking to create something new and special for themselves.  Mennonite in A Little Black Dress was very meaningful for me as I watched a young woman wrestle with her strict Mennonite upbringing, seek to break free from it, make some sad choices in life and ultimately find solace with the community in which she was raised.  If you grew up in a religious environment and have struggled to find a new way of having faith while cherishing your childhood learning, you will greatly appreciate this read.  Same Kind of Different As Me is a stunning portrayal of how three totally disconnected lives connect to change one another forever.  It's a true story and I loved it.  Wait 'Til Next Year delighted me because of the resonance I felt with my own life.  Change the author's Brooklyn, Dodgers for my California Angels and the stories are pretty similar.  Except the Angels didn't win the World Series until 2002!  My Life in France by Julia Child held deep surprises as it is a story that is much more complex than I thought.  I suppose because I am an American living overseas, I resonated with much of what she shared and getting a glimpse of the ex-patriot lifestyle post WWII was also very special.  On a lighter note, Lunch in Paris is another account of an American seeking to adjust to life in Paris with her French husband and includes wonderful recipes at the end of each chapter to boot!  I'm sure there were many, many more but this gives you a peek at what held my rapt attention!  I am going to take the plunge and get a Kindle electronic reader and I do look forward to being able to get books at the touch of a button and not having to lug them across the ocean with me on my journeys!

Of course, the year had some hard things as well and the hard things were really hard.  3 family members struggling with various stages of different types of cancer, and another struggling with the effects from an unexpected stroke have been a source of deep concern and sadness for us.  These concerns are present with us every day and cause the future to feel fragile and precious.  We live far away from our beloved families and yet feel we are living into God's calling for us here in Stockholm as well.  We are grateful that we have resources that allow us trips back and opportunities to talk on the phone, connect electronically, and just generally keep in touch as best we can when continents divide.  Uncertainty in the future looms, and yet, we take joy that in this present moment, there are reasons to rejoice and be thankful.  And so we try to do just that.

And so dear readers of this blog, wherever you are in life, I pray that in the midst of that which is hard and painful, you too will find joy in the calling that God has granted you and that you will find the grace to live into His calling for you in spite of the things that wear you down.

I wish you a Blessed and Happy New Year filled with comfort for your pain and anticipation for the joy that will inevitably unfold in the coming months.