A Mixed Bag of Emotions

      Today I am a jumble of emotions. On the one hand, we are having a fantastic seaside holiday at a northern Croatian resort where the water is blue, the sun shines without clouds, and the people are lovely.

 

     But in the midst of this idyllic retreat, the church denomination where I hold my ordination, The Evangelical Covenant Church, is blowing apart at the seams after taking some decisions that I feel are wrong in every way possible. Our Church has not been immune to the struggle with the divided manner in which Christians interpret scripture as regards people who are same-sex attracted. The leaders of our denomination imposed new rules upon clergy, without their consent, that we are forbidden to officiate at same-sex weddings. This policy has come under much scrutiny and objection by many of us because our denomination is also one that has not demanded that we agree on matters of theological debate. So while we hold that the baptism of infants and adults is appropriate, there are churches and pastors who don't practice infant baptism. And while we affirm the ordination of women, there are churches and pastors who would never call or affirm a woman in pastoral ministry. So while our denomination has a tightly held belief that marriage is intended only between men and women, and that any "coupling" by same-sex attracted people is sinful, many clergy and lay people alike disagree with this conclusion and have found a different way to interpret scripture. For the first time in our history, the Church has said, this is the one thing that we will not agree to disagree on. In my humble opinion, the arrogance with which those who hold fast to this interpretation has made it quite difficult for those us seeking another way to abide. So pastors, in an attempt to challenge the rightness of the decisions, have defied the policy and chosen to officiate at same-sex weddings and write statements of inclusion for their local church believing that this is the TRUE Covenant way...the way of holding together in spite of tensions. This all came to a crashing close yesterday at the Annual Meeting of the Church.

The Covenant logo, now modified to indicate the kicking out of 1st Cov. Minneapolis. 

     This is particularly painful for us because one of the pastors being singled out for his "egregious" behavior is our dear friend and colleague, Steve Armfield. He, along with his wife Janet, and their daughter Lindsay are family to us. Lindsay was our intern in Stockholm and Steve followed us at Immanuel as the interim during a critically painful time for the International Fellowship. He helped both us and the church cope with the sad reality of no longer being united. He made the decision to officiate at his gay son's wedding, a decision that, to me, holds the highest example of unconditional love a parent can show a child and a true representation of loving Christ more than the rules of the Church. But the Church objected even to this and thus they have deemed him unworthy to be a Covenant pastor and stripped him of his credentials yesterday. Because we are in Europe and the event was taking place in the US, I was up long into the early morning, texting with his daughter Lindsay. To say this breaks our hearts is a bold understatement. I feel like a piece of my heart has been ripped out. And I wonder where I fit within my ordaining body. Additionally, the Church voted to remove another pastor and historically significant church, 1st Covenant Minneapolis, because of their stated desire to welcome all...including same-sex married couples. This is deeply painful and an egregious mistake on the part of the church. Why we have not been able to allow for differing points of interpretation on this issue, as we have on so many more, is a great puzzle and deep wound for so many. I guess they will now have to change to their name to 1st to be kicked out of the Covenant, Minneapolis.

     I know this topic is deeply dividing for the Christian church. But the way in which the Evangelical church in particular, continues to display such a lack of grace is problematic for me. I was not interested in the denomination changing their position. I am, however, deeply committed to allowing the local church and clergy to decide how to best minister to their gay brothers and sisters. These dear people, all who inhabit the world of the LGBTQ community, have suffered such deep wounding at the hands of those who claim to love Jesus, all of our credibility as people of love and grace vanishes in the broader society. I grieve these decisions with an incredibly heavy heart. It's hard to imagine a man with more integrity, grace, wisdom, and love for Christ and his church and his family than Steve Armfield. To them I say, we LOVE you deep...you are family to us even if our church family has ousted you.

   The last thing messing with my emotions today is the book I am reading in preparation for our visit to Auschwitz next week. It is called We Were the Lucky Ones. READ IT. Feel the pain of hatred toward an innocent culture group. Live with the pain of privilege that might be yours if you are Aryan...I was crying on the beach earlier, my salty tears mixed with the salt of the Adriatic, as the reality of human cruelty alongside of the courage of the Polish people who survived World War II under impossible circumstances was unfolding before my eyes. 

     I am having a great time with my beloved husband here in beautiful, wonderful Croatia, but to continue to post our vacation highlights without taking time to express the deep lament that is filling my soul felt disingenuous. To those who are hurting today...I offer you my solidarity. To the LGTBQ community: I Love You. I accept you. I believe that Jesus loves you as you are and wants to woo you into his loving embrace. To Steve and Janet and Lindsay...our love for you will never waver, our respect for you grows deeper every day. You are the embodiment of all that Jesus is about.  Amen. 

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