My Pilgrimage to Chartres; Part 3

     Our third day was going to be the second longest. There was some village walking, and some really nice forest walking too. The good news was that the pain that manifested in my right hip area had largely abated. The bad news was that my feet were kind of a mess. It’s not a great sign when you are trimming your nails and all of the sudden, water leaks out. A blister had formed under the nail and I had popped it. The good news is that it provided some measure of relief from the tender pain I was experiencing but I definitely needed to get that little piggy wrapped up in moleskin.

     The hotel didn’t have a restaurant but Kim had arranged for them to deliver breakfast. We were pretty unsure what it would be so we were delighted when we found a giant bag of good hanging from our door. Juice, croissants, butter, jam, milk, cereal, hot chocolate and cheese were all there! The only panic was NO COFFEE. But we texted Kim and she said that they had plenty so that was a relief! We enjoyed our meal. We had a little cooktop in our room so we could heat the milk and make the hot chocolate. It was a lovely way to start the day. We were gathering in Kim’s room for our morning time together and we were eager to see everyone, but mostly eager to get a cup of coffee!

     The verse for this day was Isaiah 43:1-3.

“But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Our question for pondering what What is your biggest fear? I think for some of us, we were genuinely afraid of not being able to finish the walk or if finishing wasn’t really a question, there were many questions about how much pain finishing might lead to. At any rate, we were off to a good start, with pretty good optimism. The weather continued to cooperate in a pretty spectacular way and that was a huge gift. 

     We headed up to the village to see the church and obtain our stamp. The village was really lovely and the church was quite beautiful. Very old, with beautiful archways inside.  Much to our delight, we were able to meet the priest and he was just as kind and encouraging as could be. Those who could speak French enjoyed a wonderful conversation with him and I felt compelled to get a photo with my “colleague in ministry”.  Here we were, the three priests along the Chemin. All in all, a very nice start, but it did mean that we weren’t really on our way walking until 10.00 a.m.

     There was quite a bit of village walking but it wasn’t even close to the urban jungle that walking through Paris was. It just wasn’t forest or field. Our first stop was in front of a lovely chateau, The Château of Breteuil.  It’s amazing how many of these lovely properties dot the landscape of France. We sat and had a snack, relaxed a bit and reloaded for the day ahead. We needed to get our lunch supplies together and I just love this picture of Emily, walking along with a baguette sticking out of her backpack!  Such a symbol of our walk in France! 

     After the break, we got our stuff together and sallied forth. Soon we hit the woods again and it was really beautiful. I could barely resist taking photos of the path that spread out in front of us.  It was such a symbol and invitation of what we were doing. Kim knew of a really beautiful spot where a lunch break would be welcome. It did not disappoint. Surrounded by huge rocks and pine trees, each one of us settled into a spot and lunch was largely silent. The area reminded me of the mountains of CA. It was a comforting connection. I looked around and saw all of us, just quietly gaining some nourishment for the afternoon ahead. It was a peaceful and lovely moment. In one of my late night google sessions about tips for hikers I had read that smart hikers take their shoes and socks off at every stop and wiggle their toes and get the circulation going. So I did that. It felt great to rest my feet on the cool big rock in front of me.  Soon it was time to go again and the first thing we had to do was to navigate a steep downhill descent. I was very thankful for my hiking poles. Once down, we simply marched ahead. We passed through some beautiful little villages, took in some lovely sights and eventually found ourselves on the outskirts of Rambouillet.   I know that Kim had mentioned that it was hard to get through the outer edges of this stop and it seemed to take forever to get to the destination even though signs of the town had begun to appear. Our trek was much the same, with deep longings to arrive. We all were feeling it whether in the feet, the legs, the ankles, the shins, or the calves. I tried to distract myself from the pain in my toes by making up silly songs about my piggies. It helped for a while but not nearly enough. We did pass a house that had several labradors in the yard.  They brightened my spirits! But the mood shifted a bit and weariness took over. When would we get there? Finally, the train station came into view and instead of heading straight to hotel where we knew there wasn’t much around, we decided to take a pit stop in a café and enjoy some refreshment before making the trek to over to the hotel. What a road weary crew we were. I needed to go to the bathroom badly and was very thankful to find one there. I also could not wait to get my shoes off so that I could give my toes some sweet relief. I needed salt and carbs so beer and fries were ordered. Not sure either ever tasted so good! Eventually we made our way to the hotel and it wasn’t the most warm reception we’d had. There was some hassling regarding the rooms and the place looked a bit worn. Several were uncomfortable with their accommodation and all in all, it was kind of a rough spot. Tensions were high and relationship dynamics were strained after 3 full days together as evidenced by a struggle around the dinner table about who would sit where and what the make up of the table should be. Tiredness. Unmet expectations. Fissures in the group dynamic all showed up. Not a surprise but not so pleasant either. I ended up not feeling well and needed to leave early to get back to the hotel. It was times likes these that the commitment to meet together and debrief our day together were really important. It would’ve been easy to grumble off to bed that night, split in our mood but instead, we gathered in our room and went through the Examen. What were the highs, what were the lows, what were we looking forward to. Highs included the beautiful woods that we were privileged to wander through.  Lows were disappointments we experienced in relationship to how we felt, physically and mentally,  who we were able to talk to or not, the lack of silence or reflection. Everyone was looking forward to the shorter day the next day. We were tired after the 14 miles (22 kilometers) hike of this day and the demands of 3 straight days of walking. We needed to be restored physically, mentally and spiritually. I was happy for rest but a bit worried about being sick. I was thrilled for the promise of a shorter day on Friday. I tried to let go of all of my concerns and allow myself to rest. I slept good that night even though I woke up in the middle of the night feeling lousy. I did rest. I learned some new techniques for making my feet hold up better. Mostly I just rested and tried not to worry about all of the things that I could be worrying about. The new day would dawn soon enough with all of its own challenges. 3 days were behind us. We only had 2 more to go and 1 of those was quite short. Could I finish this pilgrimage? It was starting to seem quite possible.

My Pilgrimage to Chartres: Part 2

     I was privileged to lead devotions in our staff meeting yesterday and I began by saying that I thought training for and running a half marathon would be the hardest thing I had ever done. I was wrong. This walk was the hardest thing I have ever done. And I began to weep once again. I have been weepy since Sunday morning, unsure of what the emotion is saying to me. It's likely a combination of reasons but leaning into how hard this walk was seems to trigger some deep emotion. I'm not sure if it's just saying out loud how hard it was, or the fact that I'm deeply thankful that I was able to walk the entire road and finish, or if it's the pain in my left foot that lingers as a reminder of the roughness of the journey, or continuing to embrace and more fully understand the deeply spiritual lesson of "I am weak but God is strong". That was a clear message for me and fully understanding what it means for me to not operate out of my own strength is something that I continue to really ponder.

     I was well prepared for this walk in terms of provisions but overly optimistic regarding what I night need for foot care. So I had to borrow moleskin and tape from my fellow pilgrims. I was grateful for their foresight in knowing that blisters would come. Here's what I know for sure: If you are going to do a multi-day walk that involves lots of kilometers, you will get blisters. Or at least you will get hot spots that need to be tended to. So I spent the first part of Day 2 wrapping up my toes. I also decided to switch out my shoe insoles in order to see if that helped with the chronic hip pain I was experiencing. Our morning devos focused on Jeremiah 29:11-13: "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Our question for the day was what do you think the Lord's plans are for you? If that was too big, you could simply focus on what brings you hope. And we were off.

     It was so nice to be in the countryside right away and to not have to slog through an urban environment. Our mood was light and we were eager to see how the day would unfold. We saw more and more signs that confirmed that we were indeed on the Chemin. We even saw a sign that told us that the end of the Chemin was a mere 1773 kilometers away! I was glad we weren't traversing the entire way to the west coast of Spain! But even so, to be on the pathway that other pilgrims have walked for thousands of years was a deep connection that I was grateful to make.

     We had to stop in one of the villages to acquire provisions for lunch and as it was public holiday in France, November 1, All Saints Day, many things were closed. We were able to finally find a bakery and a grocery store that would provide what we needed. One rest stop was near a church with a gorgeous cross and stained glass over the altar.  I love the shadow that the cross casts on the wall. One of the few restaurants in the village hadn't opened yet but they were gracious to open for us, made us coffees and allowed us to use their bathrooms. I also used the first rest stop to tend to ever emerging hot spots on my toes.
     I was admittedly very grumpy when we stopped for lunch. I was tired of being in pain every single step I took. When people asked me how I was doing I was honest and said, "I'm hurting." But it was my pain and I knew that I just needed to deal with it so suggestions of various solutions were not that helpful to me and the suggestion that I might need to call the driver to pick me up really angered me. I was not quitting! Later that night in our sharing time, I was able to say to the group that if they ask me how I was doing I would tell them the truth but what I didn't want from them was a cacophony of solutions. Just be empathic and let me be. They all received that and I was grateful.

Kim, our fearless and faithful leader, smiling brightly as our walk ended for the day. Me? Well, that's more of a grimace than a smile!

     Fortunately the day was beautiful. And the end came quicker than some of us expected. One woman commented that it didn't feel long enough. Of course, since I was ready to pass out from pain at that point, I was utterly thrilled that it was over. It had been shorter than the first day. Only 11 miles or 17 kilometers. But it was truly enough for me. As the walk ended, we were in a gorgeous park where you could see the town on the left on a bit of a rise. An old castle and the church dominated the village. But the hotel we were staying in that night was about 15 minutes to the right. It was early afternoon and gorgeous and some folks wanted to head into the village before going to the hotel to look around and perhaps get a coffee or a beer. I wanted to join them as that all sounded so lovely but my feet were on fire and I knew that what I needed to do was go lay down. So I, along with one other woman who wasn't feeling so good, bid the group farewell and as they headed into town, we headed to the hotel. I was so grateful for the beauty and quiet of the hotel. The beds were covered in these big, fluffy duvets and all in all it was just a lovely place. I took a very hot shower and crawled under that inviting duvet and rested. I talked to Doug on the phone for the first time since I had left. I tended to my feet. I stretched out my leg. I googled helps for hikers with sore feet and learned a bit. I rested. The rest of the gang showed up a bit later and we had pizza and wine in one of the rooms as we watched another day come to a close. I was grateful for the beauty of the day, the comfort of our evening resting place, the joy of the company I was keeping and the rest that had helped to restore my aching body.
     3 days to go. It felt long and arduous. The next day was about the same length as this day was. Then a shorter walk. Then the longest of all heading in Chartres. I was trying to get my head around how I was going to find the strength to do 7 miles more than today was on Saturday. I realized that I couldn't think about that. I needed to focus on taking one day at a time and really just one step at a time. Saturday would come. For now, on Wednesday night, I just needed to rest. And so I did.

My Pilgrimage to Chartres: Part 1

     It’s hard to know how to begin to put into words what the past week has meant for me. It’s going to take a long time for me to understand the deep impact walking from Paris to Chartres has had on me. I followed the Chemin de Saint Jacques that thousands of pilgrims have walked prior to me. This is the same pilgrim road that continues as the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Fewer people seem to know about the French portion. Of course, as I am living in France this year, it was important and meaningful to be doing a portion of the French way. Chartres is also such a beautiful, significant pilgrim city because the Cathedral there is so amazing. I have visited Chartres on 4 previous occasions, twice to hear lectures on the magnificent stained glass windows, once as a tour stop while watching the Tour de France and once as a stopping place on a longer journey through France. It seemed an appropriate goal for my first time testing the waters of a walking pilgrimage. I have followed with interest the journeys of two close friends as they walked the 1,000 kilometer journey of the Camino de Santiago. Those journeys have inspired me to consider my own one day. After the struggle of a 5 day journey, I have mad respect for those who endure the 30 day journey. 100 kilometers was challenging enough for me!

     The journey of Saint James, as it is called in English, and the scallop shell as the symbol of the pilgrimage has been around for a very long time. The short version is that when Saint James was being transported by ship, the ship wrecked and the body was lost. Days later it emerged covered in scallop shells. There is much more to it than that, but you can google it if you are truly interested! At any rate, it was cool to see the shell along the way and my # on instagram was #followtheshell.

     Over the next several days I plan to share some of my reflections. Many thanks to all of you who followed the photos on Facebook and Instagram, who prayed for me and congratulated me on the completion of the journey. It has been a great and significant experience.

     The lead up to the trip was not what I had wanted. Plagued by physical issues that deeply affected ability to walk or run, I had to rest more than train. I was never able to get in a 15k or 10-12 mile walk in order to get a mental picture of what that might feel like. I was mostly filled with dread as the week approached. I did not feel like the “hay was in the barn” as they say when training for a big event. But when I woke up early on Tuesday morning, I was genuinely excited. As we headed toward Notre Dame to start the journey, I was a bit giddy...it was just so cool to be starting this journey at Notre Dame in central Paris! We were very lucky that we had secured a driver who would carry our overnight bags so we were free to only carry what we would need for during the day. So after dropping our stuff off, we paused to share our devotional word for the day which included a question to ponder. The first day was focused on Psalm 121 and the question was to whom or what do you look for strength? And of course, if it wasn’t God, to ponder why we are distracted by something that we know won’t ultimately sustain us. We then walked to the tour de St. Jacques, (a structure I have often seen but never knew what it was) and touched the stone. We all carried credentials as pilgrims that we could get stamped along the way so we then walked over to Notre Dame to get our credentials stamped and we were on our way out of Paris.

     It was a glorious morning, with bright sunshine and warm temperatures. It was strange and wonderful to be walking straight through an urban area on our way to the open road. In fact, it took about 3 hours to get away from the urban environment. Unbeknownst to me, the name of the street that took us out of town was Rue Saint Jacques! The wonderful things you learn!      

We were so happy to finally get out of the city. We found a beautiful park to stop for lunch  and ended the walk through a forested area where we saw our first sign of the shell on a tree!

My steps were painful. The pain on the right side of my hip/leg was present and I was just trying to manage it. Our first coffee break was a welcome pit stop. It was late afternoon when we finally arrived at the first Abbey we were staying at.  A happy pilgrim upon arrival!

     We were tired, sweaty, and a bit sore. But we went straight into vespers with the sisters and while it was great to share in this experience, the chapel was freezing cold so we were all stiffening up and starting to shiver!  Once over, we found our rooms, which were OK, but pretty spartan and we wondered if it would be warm enough. I turned on the shower and it took forever for the hot water to come so there was much nervousness waiting for that warm stream of water to gush forth. Eventually it did and it was a life saver. We had dinner at the Abbey so no need to get gussied up for a fancy dinner! The meal was simple and nourishing. We needed to wash dishes and clean up and then we shared in an evening time together which prompted us to share a high in the day or a place where God felt very present, a low or a place where we felt blocked, and what we were looking forward to in the next day. It was a good exercise known in some circles as the Examen.

     Admittedly for me, my focus was very much on my body. It was so weird to be so focused on something so tactile and seemingly not very spiritual but I had to admit that I spent more time thinking about my podiatrist and osteotherapist than God that first day! The day included time to get to know one another better and settle into our journey. While I happily fell into bed that night, I found a deep sleep hard to come by. I wasn’t restless but I didn’t find a deep rest. Even so, I awoke ready to face a new day. I was hopeful that there would be less urban walking and more open space. I looked forward to both continuing conversations and time to wander in silence. The first 22 kilometers (14 miles) were behind us. A similar distance awaited us on Day 2. I remained hopeful that I would find my rhythm and that the pain would abate. The pilgrimage had begun. Where would it lead me?

A Perfectly Parisian Birthday

I woke up on Thursday morning a year older. I do not mind getting older except for the creaking body parts. I still love celebrating my birthday and enjoy hearing from people all the world over thanks to the wonder of social media. I even received posted cards on the day! Always a treat to get real mail.

The day began with Doug presenting me with a big box filled with goodies to enjoy throughout the day.  Red roses, fois gras, jams, cheeses, sausage, yogurts (French yogurt is other-worldly), wine, the most heavenly cookies ever baked and a cake from a place we’ve walked by but had not to date taken time to taste. It was perfect. We had planned on a picnic supper that night because the weather has been amazing and we had friends coming in from Sweden so he had assembled it all so that it would be ready that evening. We had a modest breakfast, well, mine included a chocolate chip cookie, and off we went to enjoy this fantastic city. 

First stop was at one of my favorite places in the entire city: Sainte Chapelle. This wonder of gothic architecture and stained glass sits in the very center of Paris and radiates beauty. We had been before but it has been many years so we decided to soak in the beauty. It is dazzling. The windows represent such beautiful imagery from scripture and the architecture of it all is just so delicately gorgeous. The sun was shining enough to get the brightness that comes through stained glass when the light hits it just right and we enjoyed the beauty of our first stop.

From there we headed to the Conciergerie, the former palace and prison that figured largely in the French Revolution. We had never been here, only admiring the impressive fortress from the outside. Nothing like guillotines and revolutions to make you grateful for another year of life! For a French history buff, this is a must see exhibit. Carefully presented with a lot to read, it was enlightening for those of us whose main source of the French Revolution is the musical Les Miserables. I said to Doug as we entered the exhibit that we should just start belting out tunes from the musical to add flavor to our visit.Tempting as it was to break into song, we held back. French history is pretty complex and it was great to get a deeper look into those complexities. 

From there, hunger was gnawing at us so we were off to our next stop: Lunch. I had done some research on the Steak/Frites culture in Paris and had really wanted to try a classic French steak restaurant. One had been recommended by friends who live here but it was too far away. I had remembered the name of a place that was much closer so off we went. We were not disappointed. Relais de l’entrecote fit the bill perfectly. No menu. They offer one meal. Salad and steak/frites.  We said ok, let’s do this. It was delicious. By far the VERY BEST FRIES I’ve had in Paris. Just as we were savoring the last tasty morsels on our plate, the waitress returned to ask if we were ready for the second portion. WHAAAT? Another round?! A new, piping hot plate of steak and fries appeared on our plates and we could not be more delighted. I slipped in that these were the best fries and that I was celebrating my birthday! She heaped on another pile! We were in our glory. Serving it up in two portions is brilliant because everything was piping hot the second time a round as well instead of it sitting on the plate to get cold. It was such a great lunch. We skipped desert knowing that we had goodies at home.

The last thing that I wanted to do during the day was to go on a boat ride. One company, Vedettes de Paris, offers up a free ride with a glass of champagne on your birthday! You just have to show ID and voilá, free ticket, free glass! It was such a beautiful afternoon that it was a perfect post-lunch activity. We were both so sleepy from the delicious lunch and sunshine and walking around so it was nice to relax on the boat watching this gorgeous city go by.

After a nice afternoon nap, our dear friends Hannah and Sven, arrived from Stockholm. We assembled the picnic supper but stayed inside to indulge. It was so delicious! The perfect way to sample so many wonderful things. We popped the cork on one of our precious bottles of Champagne from Champagne and all were happy. 

We took a walk to see the Eiffel Tower all lit up and returned home to indulge in this beautiful cake. It’s hard to explain exactly what this is but there is meringue and cream and shaved chocolate on the outside. Not too heavy, not overly sweet, it was just right. 

What a day. Perfect. Memorable. Delightful. I’m grateful for my husband’s creativity and game spirit in making the day so special for me. 

The birthday celebrations continued on to Friday night with a birthday dinner that Hannah and Sven treated us to near the Latin Quarter. They even sang in Swedish, quietly, one more time!    Le Bistrot d’Henri was a wonderful spot to eat some French delights such as snails, kidney, scallops, and beef bourguignon.  The evening ended with ice cream from Amorino, my very favorite gelato place in all of Paris, maybe even in the whole world!  

I am so thankful for the voices of many around the world who took time to wish me well. Mine is a life well-lived, surrounded by friends and loved ones and I am deeply grateful. 

A Pilgrimage, A Walk, A Pledge

Soon it’s time for me to embark on my latest challenge. A group of women from the American Church in Paris have decided to take a walk to Chartres Cathedral as part of a spiritual pilgrimage that follows the Way of St. James. Perhaps you are familiar with the Camino De Santiago in Spain. if you’ve seen the film, The Way, this is what we’re talking about. The Chemin of Sainte Jacques in France allows folks to go on a pilgrimage to the magnificent Chartres Cathedral from Paris. Walking the Camino de Santiago has been something that Doug and I have been interested in since a good friend did it a few years back and our colleague here at ACP also just did it over the summer. That requires a bit of planning and significant training as it is about 800 kilometers walked over about a month! This walk from Paris to Chartres is about 100 kilometers and we will journey across 5 days to achieve our goal. I was asked to join the group as a fellowship traveler but also to provide a pastoral presence on the journey.

I am excited and a bit a nervous too. I am nervous because of the significant physical challenges I’ve encountered of late with my hip. But trips to various doctors, new custom built shoe inserts, and regular appointments with a physical therapist have bolstered my confidence in my ability to be more physically ready for this challenge. Of course, I have no idea what awaits me as I embark on this new and inviting challenge with 8 other women. I’m confident that I will encounter God along the chemin (way in French) and I am also confident that things unknown to me today will challenge and encourage me.

As I considered this walk, I was drawn to the link between my ability to do this walk and the significant work that ACP is doing right now to install a lift and lavatory that will make ACP wheelchair accessible. This is an important step for the church to take but as many of you know, often doing something like this, while the right thing, is also an expensive thing. ACP has decided to move forward with the project no matter the costs and so I got to thinking about how I could perhaps raise a little money to benefit this project. Sort of like my walk for those whose walking ability is limited or not possible at all. 

This is near and dear to my heart in part because of people that I love who live life from a chair. My niece is one such person and she lives life with more courage and zeal than many others. So in that spirit, I’m asking people to sponsor me, either by one time gift or per kilometer giving, on my walk to Chartres which will take place October 31-November 4. 

I am wanting to keep this simple so am not setting up a funding page or anything like that. I simply ask that you private message me with your intention to give and I can give you fuller details then. If you know someone who doesn’t know me but would like to get on board with a gift, simply be the go between for us. There are a few ways that you can give. If you are in the US or prefer dealing in US dollars and checks, then you will be able to write a tax-deductible check to the American and Foreign Christian Union, which is linked to the ministry of ACP and through which funding from the US for various projects is funneled. If you are in Europe, I can set you up with bank transfer information. 

The last really big physical challenge I worked toward was the half marathon in Nice, France back in 2015. While this will certainly represent a physical challenge of an entirely different thing, it will also be a mental and spiritual challenge as well. I look forward to all that will unfold on this journey. It adds meaning for me to be able to walk on behalf of a project for our church that I know embraces the Kingdom of God value that ALL are welcome here. It’s easy to say and it’s hard to put into practice sometimes. So I am grateful for the money, sweat and tears (ever try to get permits and constructions done in France? It causes tears!) that the church is committed to giving. If you are moved to give toward this project through sponsoring my journey/pilgrimage, I would be forever grateful. A woman who will meet us in Chartres states this in a book she’s written about pilgrimage to Chartres: “Each pilgrimage is unique, each pilgrim travels differently.” This prayer is meaningful as I embark on my own, unique pilgrimage: “On the way, God, may the gratitude that rises from the spring of love flow ever more strongly, and thus widely. May it be more so.” 

Thank you for your interest and support. If money isn’t something you can give, please pray for me and my on-going preparations and for ACP, to be the place of open, wide doors it longs to be.